I think I am sick again. Not the kind of sickness that you can simply pop in those pills as you please.
My body decided to feel like it is burning all through prayer time or whenever I recite the Quran. Even my voice is changing to either becoming suara nenek tua or simply sounding like a harsh man's voice each time I read the Quranic verses. All these happening shortly after Ramadhan has ended. I was in total peace during the holy month. Now, I am getting confused, angry, and the sadness overflowing in me is ridiculous. Worst, I am at the verge of tearing all the reports, too lazy to read them. Franky speaking, I didnt do much work for the past four days. None. Kosong. Am I seeing things lately? Yeah in a way, but not noticeable just a shadow or some black images. However, I did feel as though someone is watching or following me, day and night. I dont think I ever mentioned in here that I saw a 14-year old girl with shoulder length hair sitting at the back while I was driving during maghrib on my way back to papar. What did I do? Ignored it, and she disappeared seconds later. Creepy or crap?
I can smell a distinct space in the relationship. Funny, there were days I think he hated me so much that he didn't even want to talk or even saw my face. For some odd reasons, it kept me thinking of whether I have done something horrible to anyone before or things were merely complicated by the problems mentioned in the previous paragraph. Even the family members are suffering the side effects of it. Chest pain, headache, stress and all. Strange. And above all, things are getting worse if we tried to read more holy verses, zikir, and everything. Having said that, I believe the whole scenario is sending a clear indication that we need to do something about it. But how?
I need to get going with life. With my work. With everything that is screaming for my attention. Why is this happening? Something for me to reflect back on what have I done perhaps into becoming a good muslimah? Any effort towards it?
Ah well, now help me decide. Its either the shrink or the ustaz? I do know that this whole thing is common to some people, or those who have had fair experience themselves. Thus, good advices or some useful thoughts are very much appreciated.
My body decided to feel like it is burning all through prayer time or whenever I recite the Quran. Even my voice is changing to either becoming suara nenek tua or simply sounding like a harsh man's voice each time I read the Quranic verses. All these happening shortly after Ramadhan has ended. I was in total peace during the holy month. Now, I am getting confused, angry, and the sadness overflowing in me is ridiculous. Worst, I am at the verge of tearing all the reports, too lazy to read them. Franky speaking, I didnt do much work for the past four days. None. Kosong. Am I seeing things lately? Yeah in a way, but not noticeable just a shadow or some black images. However, I did feel as though someone is watching or following me, day and night. I dont think I ever mentioned in here that I saw a 14-year old girl with shoulder length hair sitting at the back while I was driving during maghrib on my way back to papar. What did I do? Ignored it, and she disappeared seconds later. Creepy or crap?
I can smell a distinct space in the relationship. Funny, there were days I think he hated me so much that he didn't even want to talk or even saw my face. For some odd reasons, it kept me thinking of whether I have done something horrible to anyone before or things were merely complicated by the problems mentioned in the previous paragraph. Even the family members are suffering the side effects of it. Chest pain, headache, stress and all. Strange. And above all, things are getting worse if we tried to read more holy verses, zikir, and everything. Having said that, I believe the whole scenario is sending a clear indication that we need to do something about it. But how?
I need to get going with life. With my work. With everything that is screaming for my attention. Why is this happening? Something for me to reflect back on what have I done perhaps into becoming a good muslimah? Any effort towards it?
Ah well, now help me decide. Its either the shrink or the ustaz? I do know that this whole thing is common to some people, or those who have had fair experience themselves. Thus, good advices or some useful thoughts are very much appreciated.
3 comments:
hmm kronik nihh... baca quran semakin sakit ya..? Ada beli cd ayat pembakar jin x? beli dan cuba pasangkan sentiasa...
Amalkan ayat pembakar jin dan syaitan... baca ayat kursi bila tiba ayat WALA YAU DUHU HIF ZUHUMA ulang 3x tanpa melepaskan nafas dan habis kan ayat kursi... amalkan selalu..
Ada lagi ayat pembakar jin LA ILA HAILALLAH HUWAH DAHU LA SYARIKALAH LAHUL MUL KU WALAHUL HAMDU YUHYI WA YUMI KU WAHUYA A'LA KULLI SYAI IN QADIR.... Paling afdal buat wirid lepas sembahyang subuh 100x tp kita memang tak sempat... cuma amalkan selalu ja la..
Lagi satu satu ayat dalam Surah Yasin... ini ayat pendinding.. jin atau syaitan yang berniat nak kaco kita tak akan nampak kita insyaallah jika di amalkan selalu WA JA AL NA MIM BAI NI AI DIHIM SADDAW WA MIN KHAL PI SADDAW FA AQ SYAI NAHUM FAHUM LA YUB SIRUN paling afdal 21x lepas sembahyang isyak...
LEpas membaca ayat tersebut hembus la pada telapak tangan kita dan sapu pada muka... Elok kita cuba pahamkan makna ayat2 tersebut. Insyaallah makna2 ayat2 tersebut sungguh besar dan indah...
Mintak suami atau adik beradik lelaki azankan rumah dan iqamah setiap waktu klu boleh klu x boleh maghrib jerr cukup...
Itu yang kami amalkan... cuba la dengan izinNYa insyaallah berkesan. Paling penting semangat kita mesti mau kuat untuk melawan benda2 cam gini if kita lemah semangat... memang mereka selalu ingin mendampingi kita. Insyaallah kami setelah mengamalkan ayat2 di atas menjadiu semakin kuat dan tabah dan di samping waktu yang sama cukupkan amalan kita yang wajib dan tingkatkan.Untuk ayat yang betul sila rujuk quran dan kitab.
Kenyataan di atas hanya di keluarkan berdasarkan pengalaman dan tunjuk ajar dari orang yang lebih berpengalaman. Bukannya menunjukkan kami punya ilmu yang lebih. Sekadar berkongsi dengan kengkawan semua.
Hmmm, my friend I'm not the expert on the Muslim side of things but perhaps you're one of those people who are tuned to more than just the physical, so you're more sensitive to the going ons on the other other side. At times like this it is good to keep praying and very important to stay healthy as a strong body does protect the spirit. As for me I can relate to what you're writing about but I can't see only can feel things. God bless and protect you.
Kam & lovebuddhabear: thank you very much for the kind thoughts and advice. appreciate it :)
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