i'm back

hi everyone! (though i dun think anybody reads my entry...hehe). well, its only the 3rd day since i got back to work after my long maternity leave but i'm feeling sick and tired of work already. hehe, yes i'm that bad. the thing is, i miss my baby so much. yupp, u got that right i miss her loads!...yeah, alhamdulillah, i safely delivered our little munchkin on the 12th of oct, at 1.12 p.m by c-section due to poor progress.

giving birth was not quite smooth sailing i'd say, it was painful yess...i admit it, but it was all worth it. betul jugak org ckp, tgk baby lupa semua sakit. smoe recaps on the day itself. blood stained appeared on the 11th oct at 4 am, masa nak sahur. but i thought it was normal, nothing serious because i didnt feel any pain at all so i waited for more signs. no contractions, no nothing during the day and i sempat lagi buat kuih raya. hehe, but time dekat2 bukak puasa, i started to feel uncomfortable and pain was coming in and out. we decided to go the hospital and i was dilated to 1 cm only, and i was admitted at 8.30 pm the same day. my battle begun. i was in a terribble pain came midnight. was crying quite badly and i soon asked hubby to call the dr. but still i was only 3 cm dilated. alamak, it feels like ages nak bukak from 1 cm to another. last2 tuh, ckp x tahan sgt dgn dr, i was sent to labor room at 2 p.m. hmmm....i hate to say this, but i was left for 2 hrs+ without anybody attending me. the nurses were supposed to check on me as soon as i was transferred there but funny thing is nobody came. aperda...nak mengamuk ade jugak. soon after a doctor came, and because i was still at 3 cm, they had to induce the labor. pecahkan ketuban, mind sakit teramat la time dorg buat nih but still no progress. at 5 am, i was such in a horrible pain. they gave me suntikan utk tahan sakit and i went to sleep for a while, and some gas apa ntah...hubby came in x lama lepas tuh. at 6 a.m., i was very exhausted. berapa kali tambah air taula, they keep poking my hand with those needles. sometimes air tuh abis, my blood came out masuk dlm tube going backwards. finally, i asked for epidural, but to my dissappointment, they told me dr pakar bius takde, she'll come to work at 9 am. aduila...hospital apa nih...yes, i was so angry. hehe....rasa nak belasah je nurse. luckily, dr dtg awal sikit. then after she gave me the shot, i was feeling much better. hmm...mcm tuh pulak rasanya kena suntik dgn epidural. seram ade gak, coz cucuk kat belakang.

at 12 noon, i was only at 4 cm. can u imagine, dr told me baby dah start berak which is not a good sign. then, i was shivering like mad, due to the side effect of epidural. whith trembling mouth, i asked for a c-section because i couldnt take it anymore. yes, was really exhausted after 16 hrs enduring the pain. dr suggested that i should wait for another 2 hrs, but i said no. finally at 1.12 p.m., she was born. they told my hubby that normally a patient would wake up 4 hhrs after surgery, but i was awake 1/2 hr after the surgery. probably eager to see my baby.hehehehe....the first thing i asked for when i woke up was my baby. i only remembered flashes of lights and sounds of people talking before i finally unconcious for the surgery.

but, whatever it is...alhamdulillah...setinggi2 kesyukuran ke hadrat Ilahi. semuanya selamat. exactly at 1.12 p.m, 12th oct 2006 (19 ramadhan) noorul syuhada syukry is finally here. she weighs a whooping 3.3 kilos despite her small frame mommy (i'm barely 5 ft, 42 kgs). hehe..she's perfect from top to bottom, very chubby and looks like a japanese doll when i first set my eyes on her. she's so adorable i wanna bite her cheeks. ma, abah, and hubby were the first to see her. hmm...again, the pain was all worthwhile. no pain no gain right?? :) so to all, soon to be mommies out there, dont be afraid, there's pain involved yes, but there's more joy to come. trust me ok. sentiasa berdoa semoga di permudahkan segalanya. aminn... me cant wait for adik syuhada pulakla...hahaha...

cant wait to go home to my lovely daughter. so, have a great weekend ya all....

Perfect gift!

Hi all! Today is my birthday. It seems like yesterday I celebrated it and now, I'm celebrating another this yr. First and foremost, alhamdulillah, di panjatkan setinggi2 kesyukuran ke hadrat Ilahi kerana sekali lagi dpt menyambut b'day yg ke ***** kalinye nih.. Hehe...Gosh I feel extra old and full of wrinkles today.

Anyhow, ari nih rasa mcm biasa je...not much difference than any other day...yupp, probably because it falls in the middle of working days so as usual got up this morning feeling-oh-no-its-only-tuesday thus have to go to work...hehe..maybe i am a bit old for this b'day thingy hence explained why i'm not jumping around like a 5 yr old girl on her birthday party.

But, there is always an exception. This yr's b'day celebrated with a mixed of happy feelings which I'm really grateful for. Sgt2 bersyukur. Because to be awaken in the morning on your day by a gentle peck on the cheek with soft whisper words saying happy birthday sayang from your dearest is indeed an overwhelming feeling. i cant tell how much it affected me...hehe...and with baby kicking in my tummy, i believe as an attempt of saying happy birthday mummy tops it all...there...i feel my day is perfect already although morning just came. i feel complete. and i'm happy that the 2 most important person in my life are with me on my birthday (of course plus my family too). Such a perfect gift to such a wonderful day! Alhamdulillah. At 27, I completed my masters, career's doing well, married to a lovely hsbd, and anticipating the arrival of our baby now...hmm should i be asking other gift for my birthday??? believe me, its SOOO OKAY not to get a new shoes, handbags, flowers, cakes, chocs, or any other possible gifts in this whole world for my birthday. I wouldnt trade my happiness for all that...:) . Because why, at the end of the day, its the thought that counts!...

Have a nice day ya all!...:)

of me lately

I just bought a 35 ringgit optical mouse (worth 15 rm in other premises) this morning. I need it so badly coz the ones i'm having now died on me since last week. *sigh* Punyala mahal, the only one left in that shop, and th eoly shop i could find in kf.

Okay, its monday. Not such a a good start for my monday morning. Because there is not much to tell on work, more updates on pregnancy. I gained almost 13 kg from the day i found out i'm pregnant and that should explain clearly i look so huge now. Things have been great so far, believe it or not i'm now in 30th weeks of my pregnancy. Baby's doing fine, alhamdulillah, looking very very healthy and everything seems so perfect. Dr told us from the scan pix that baby's looking so chubby. Hehe...geram pulak, rasa mau gigit2 je pipi dia...Me, i'm doing great also, despite the usual discomfort of the 3rd trimester - but I just have to bear it for a little while.

Till now even, dr couldnt let us know the gender of the baby but its okay, bor or girl we still love the baby to the max. Couldn't wait to meet him/her! Meanwhile, the preparation for the baby's arrival is doing great also. We bought few things here and there and so far the shopping trips were so much fun. we enjoyed ourselves looking and buying those cute baby's stuff..we were eyeing on this cute and comfortable bed for the baby, but havent decided when to buy it..maybe soon...ahhh...cant wait for the whole thing to be perfect. hubby, me and the baby...us..as a family..until then, we just keep on praying that things will go smooth sailing.

ok, hafta check on the lab report... daaa..

Students are back! Yikesss....

Its been a long break for all of us the lecturer hence the inertia to start working again is unbearable. And now, I just couldn’t believe myself that the students are back already. Yeah, its maybe the new intake arrived few days ago, but early next week the returning students will be all over campus. Yikes, which reminds me I haven’t updated the course syllabus, notes and also tried the labs. Aiyo…dahla nak abis cepat. I hope by end of September I’d be able to finish all the lectures and lab work. I’m expecting early Oct so I desperately need to speed up everything. Ahh..help me!….But working with a colleague from hell is really troublesome. I just hate him. Super duper hate him. Tulunnn!!!

Met with new students today, surprisingly out of 48 students only 1 is from sabah. Hmm…most of them scored a cgpa above 3.0 so, we are talking about bright batch this time around. Hehe. Kena bagi soalan susah2 nih…..huhuhuhu..

Hubby was not in his best mood today..well neither do I. Well, such a rough day for both of us I guess. I’m plain tired as the briefing room for the new intake was on the 3rd floor and I had to use stairs. We had a tour de lab and around the academic building afterwards. Urghh…with me getting huge day by day, it was certainly not a pleasant journey. I’m plain tired and grasping for air desperately.

I wonder why did the bank sent the fax to my office when in fact they should’ve sent it to hubby’s office. Luckily we work at the same workplace (different building) so someone who happened to know hubby passed the letter to me. Aiya..kalau x, x sampaila surat tuh…mcm mana buleh salah. Marah juga nih…

Okies, since hubby has plenty of work to do, we need to stay back a little longer than the usual. But, I’m be going to his office any minutes now. Bosan lak tgl sorg2 di ofis. Till then. Bye peeps!

kiss the rain

I just make a quick call to hubby to check his whereabouts and also asked whether the match is on today because it was raining cats and dogs already. Hubby said he and few others are still waiting for friends to come. Hehe, see...even dah hujan lebat giler2 pon, they all still tunggu kat tepi padang. So, I went on saying this to hubby, "ala pakaila topi payung tuh, kalau boleh yg besar mcm kat gerai makan tuh...hahaha...gerenti x basah...". Hubby was laughing like mad but maybe campur geram jugak sikit2 dgn aku. hehehehe... mcm tuhla kalau dah gila bola kan...

Anyhow, just to share not so good news today. Tgh ari tadi my knee was injured again, this time around kat belah kiri pulak. So, as a result jatuhla i terjelepok kat parking lot sorang2...betul2 dah dekat dgn kete. Aduss...nasib baik sempatla backing dgn tgn kalau tak buleh tersungkur ke depan la gamaknya. Anyhow, i wasnt that concern about the pain, but rather risau yg amat dgn baby. Alhamdulillah, no serious stomach ache, or bleeding appeared. No nothing. I was lucky i guess. Panik giler tadi...aduila...of coz kene risau tahap gaban jugak, I'm about 6 months+ pregnant, so imagine my huge tummy now. Nasib baikla nothing serious.

School hols will be over soon. 2 weeks from now, new students will be registering themselves pretty soon. Oh my, my lab manual belum siap lagi daaa...Must do cepat2....Now that the sem will resume in 2 3 weeks to come, i guess my working pace will not be as dormant as it is now. Hehe....biasala dah last2 minute, kelam kabutla...efficient sungguh buat keje kan...kuikuikui....sekrg malas tahap gaban la..dont know why.

5 minutes to 5.30, time to go home. i should be calling hubby few minutes more...still raining very heavily, ahhhh....wish i'm at home now. okie dokie, tomorrow urs truly will be on leave...so until then. adieu...

sunyi

Its funny how I rarely see anyone everyday at my workplace though the org I work with consists of thousands of employees. As a matter of fact, I spoke to only one person today. Urgh....this extremely quiet environment is such a demotivating workplace I guess. Seriously, I dont feel like working today. Napa eh. Mmg sbb aku malas ke.

Well...this place is so huge u hardly can see a shadow of a cat even. Sound of footspteps is a very rare occasion sometimes it feels creepy when its passed 5.00 p.m already. My room is also so big it can occupy 4 people with comfort. Imagine having to be in be in that room, alone, everyday. And some the neighbours are a rare sight, so it means nothing that I'm all alone at this row, and also the oppsosite row. Being further away from the main admin office doesnt help either. Thank God, I do see K****** once in a while..tu pon normally dah petang2...so at least, it still feels like there's people around. Otherwise, it'll be extra creepy in the afternoon.

Isk, even R***** complained the same thing to me this morning. He said this place doesnt have any kind of motavational factor for us to go to work. It always feels like u r on your own over here at s*t*. So...i feel a lot better when he expressed the same worries, otherwise, i thought all this while I'm the only who thinks that the working environment is far from condusive. Well, yeah...all the facilities are there but its just that it felt damn lonely. No friendly faces, no friends to exchange good laughs and the world seems so dull if the internet is gone. See how dependent we all on this cyber thing coz its the only gateway to outside world, to people...aduih...such a pathethic life heh...

I think i just heard bunyi azan. Gotta go...Adieu

meeting lagi

If u ask me what I really despise right now, besides doing the minutes, is attending meeting on behalf of others especially when i'm told 20 mins before the meeting starts, like today. Urghh!!! so kijam. Although I didnt have to do anything just sit and listen to others talking, I did felt like I was a complete loser attending meeting that I didnt have the slightest idea of. So, u might as well forget about imagining me speaking on behalf of my superior.

Well, i was sent there as representative for my timbalan dekan akademik, simply as wakil sekolah kami. But no notes, no memo, no nothing, just a phone call saying i need to go to a meeting. As in N-O-W! urghh...stupido..They call up the other lecturers to fill up for her but it seems like everyone was smart enough to say NO except me. Tuhla, bila meeting bodo2 gini mula la nak suruh kita pegi but bila nak pi jln mana2....barula sibuk ajak member2 dia...ciss..

bitching (u have been warned)

Lapar jugak but tatau nak ajak sapa for lunch. Tried to reach hubby, who knows i could tag along for lunch but x boleh reach him. hmmm...I guess biskut and nestum wolud do lah for today.

A bit tense about work for the past few days, ntahla napa aku perlu bersusah payah arrange and siapkan kerja org. Time skt nnt, dia pulak sibuk2 nak claim dia buat itu ini. Sekrg nih, dok bersuka ria cuti lama2. Ada ke meeting pon suruh aku jadi wakil dia when in fact dia yg kene pegi. Abis semua marah dgn aku which is not good la sbb whaddahell nak marah aku kan. I prepared the materials for the meeting already tgl pegi je dia tuh. Patutnya dia yg buat coz dia coordinator, nih suka ati dia pulak nak cuti. Ntah, dalam byk mgu2 nak cuti, mgu nih jugakla dia nak cuti. heran2....apa takut ke kene fire dlm meeting? dah la tuh, dokumen yg aku mintak belum2 bg lagi. now, my work pon pending gak. tak ke menyusahkan hidup org. bak sini elaun jadik boss tuh kalau reti dok diam2 je. yg sorg lagi pon sama, dah tau ada course kene attend siapkanla keje awal2. nih tak menyusahkan aku lagi. dahler dr kira markah sampai la ke key in kan grade aku yg kene buat utk dia. ke hulur ke hilir jmpa org tuh ini utk setelkan masalah dia. apa jenis org la depa nih. klus etakat ada tulis D & R kat depan nama tuh, tp tatau nak berpk dgn waras otak letak kat kepala lutut tau menyusahkan org lain je tak payah ambik phd lain kali. ok, ada paham. marahnya aku tak terkira. nak buat keje lain takde mood. kerja aku sendiri pon tak terbuat2 lagi asyik setelkan keje org.

ada student dtg tadi tnya result dia, so aku kata kat dia aku x pasti la blh bgtau ke tidak sbb x meeting lagi. but aku just ckp kat dia result dia ok jadi jgn risau sgt. tapi persistent gile budak tuh, paksa2 aku bgtau jugak. uiks..tak paham2 lagi budak nih. aku tanak bgtau masih terpacak lagi dlm bilik aku. last2 kesian punya pasal aku bgtau la result dia. lepas tuh, buleh argue pulak kata dia deserve A sbb dia kata dia buleh buat final dgn bagus. amboi. aku kata no, u did quite ok but not to the extend aku blh bg A. klu compare jwpan dia dgn student yg dpt A mmg student lain lagi deserve. plus aku kata aku strict masa marking. eh eh dia argue lagi dia ras2 dia jwb ok. ish, dia ingat dia punya jawapan semua betul ka. pastu, last2 aku ckp kat dia. u got 75 ok, dpt A- so ok byk dah tuh. klu u nak tau u dpt B+ ok seblum nih, tp i check balik paper u cr markah utk u sepaya dpt naikkan grade u lagi. baru la student tuh diam, ckp tima kasih and keluar. aih, nih la yg dikatakan beri betis nak peha. hehe...ya la, dia tak tau betapa bertuahnya dia tuh masuk kategori dpt A la jugak. lain2 dpt B je.

aku still lapar lagi. nak keluar ke. ahh malasnya sorang2. but kesian kat baby. i can feel him/her kicking now. lapar kot. sian anak mama. okla, jap lg kita mkn k syg....

i hate jadi bidan terjun!

Had a quick meeting just now but enough to ruin my long weekends. Aduih nah, bencila aku bila boss suka bagi kerja last minute and expect me to finish it quick. Ingat aku robot ka apa...And some more I'm so pissed off, so pissed offla...when he asked me to help him key in the grades, when ari nih ari last utk key in grades, and its already 3 p.m.! Adoiii!!! geram....Not just for FYP student (nih okla, acceptable because I'll be replacing him as FYP coordinator) but also for other subject. Hangin satu badan aku nih...And now, my boss told me that the system was down already so I need to go to chancellory to key in the grades! St*pido!!!....

And then, there were only three of us attending the meeting. Why oh whyla....everybody decided to take leave and courses this week! tunggu everything settle dulu nda buleh ka....nih semua mau lari2 ja...Klu dah siapkan kerja and cuti or pegi courses okla, nih pending lagi keje dia and then expect org lain cover dia...byk cantikkk....my previous boss was never around in campus, i dont even know whether he works here anymore! and yet dia pulak yg belum bg grades student dia for us to endorse. does he has any idea that we have a school meeting on monday. menyusahkan org, and then my boss even said..."dont count on that guy". So, me and **, also my boss, we conducted the endorsement meeting just now. Funny heh, how nasib ratus2 org student depends on us 3 org jer...lantak ko la labu...padahal there are more than 10 lecturers tp semuanya x nmpk batang hidung time kronik mcm nih...ada ka patut...

And, aku lagi la temper bila suddenly my boss asked me to represent him in the school meeting this monday...aduihla, i'm barely 5 mths here, i just knew how to key in the grades 2 days ago...what do u expect me say in the meeting when i'm so new...pongggaadey.....so i said, i think ** lebih layak la dr...hehehe...so, my boss has decided she has to go for the meeting...kekeke..jahat pulak aku nih kan...main tolak2 jer....but its true what...she's new too, but she's here much longer than me....and now makcik tuh tgh bingung juga, she told me she'll find others qualified enough to represent her....she even said, jom la kita mc ari isnin...hahaha...bagus jugak idea tuh...aku pon heran jugak, apasal la my boss nak cuti sgt on next week when he knew that monday ada meeting yg sgt penting. nih takde lain la nih...case nak lari2....coz during the meeting just now, ada byk lg incomplete documents utk disiapkan for the meeting...takutla kot kene fire...even worse, there are 3 lecturers yg belum key in grades...i thought they gave 3 weeks to do just that...why oh why la...dah x smpt, aku pulak jd bidan terjun pi key in kat atas...geramnya...dahle kena prepare minutes td this weekend...sbb nak guna monday....

okay, i'm cool now....fuihhh.....i need to go home early today...otak pon dah jam lama2 dok ofis nih...

My life is 78% perfect

I tried this....so I found out that my life is 78% perfect if it is quantified in the following manner. OK-lah kot, kalau standard ikut uni aku, I obtained an A-. Hehehe…

[x] You know someone that cares about you.
[x] You have a boyfriend/girlfriend/fiance(e)/husband/ wife.
[x] You have your own room.
[x] You own a cell phone.
[x] You get good grades.
[ ] You have an ipod/ mp3 player.
[x] Your parents are still married.
[x] You have more than 2 best friends.
[ ] There is a swimming pool in your backyard.
[x] You live in a house.

T O T A L: 8

[x] You dress how you want to.
[ ] You hang out with friends more than once a week.
[x] There is a computer/ laptop in your room.
[x] You have never been beaten up.
[x] You never cry more than twice a month.
[x] You are allowed to listen to the music if you want to.
[x] Your room is big enough for you.
[x] People don’t use you for something you have.
[ ] You have been to a concert. (Never been to one…hmmm….antisosial ka aku nih...)
[x] You laugh more than twice a day.

T O T A L: 8

[ ] You have over 100 friends on friendster. (I rarely used friendster as it doesn’t serve as important as emails to me…probably explained why I don’t tell my friends I do have friendster account)
[x] You have pictures on friendster.
[x] You get allowance. (Does salary included?)
[ ] You collect something normal. (No collections of any sort, not yet I guess)
[x] People don’t make fun of you to be mean.
[x] You look forward to go to school work.
[x] You don’t wish you were someone else.
[ ] You play a sport.
[ ](not FOR school) You do something after schoolwork. (I normally arrived home at 8 p.m daily after work, is there anything better to do than resting at home with family?)
[x] You shower daily.

T O T A L: 6

[x] You own a car. (As a matter of fact, I just got it yesterday…heheh) [x] You usually don’t fight with your parents.
[x] You’re healthy.
[ ] You’ve never had a cavity.
[x] You are happy with your appearance.
[ ] You aren’t self-consious at all.
[x] You have never got a failing grade in your life.
[x] You have friends.
[x] You have so many inside jokes with friends.
[x] You know your parent care and love you.

T O T A L: 8

[x] You know what is going on in the world.
[x] You care about sooo many people.
[x] You are happy with your life.
[x] You usually aren’t sick.
[x] You know more than one language.
[x] You have a screen name.
[ ] You own a pet.
[x] You know the words to more than 5 songs.
[x] You don’t have any enemies. (Not that I know…)
[x] You are happy you’re living.

T O T A L: 9

To those who are continuing this meme:
- Count up the totals and multiply by 2.
- Then repost with this title: My life is % perfect.

my dearest hubby

weekend terasa cepat sgt berlalu. i had a bz weekends i wished cuti 2 ari tuh mcm 2 weeks....2 days were spent doing laundry, cooking, do groceries with mom, went to my inlaws and masak2, buat kerja ofis and sleep. but of course i didnt do all that by myself. hubby was kind enough to help me with the chores. i feel so lucky to have him, hubby seorg yg sgt rajin buat kerja2 rumah especially bab2 decorate rumah ala2 eric casa impian gitu, and he helped me cook too. in fact, dia yg tlg most of work yg kena anta today, klu tak, mmg still kalut la pagi nih...

i cooked sambal tempe, kerabu taugeh, ikan goreng, and another local dish called ikan ampap for lunch on saturday. mula2 tuh tanak makan nasi, asyik ckp kenyang...but then, he went to the kitchen and bukak tudung saji..."alamak, ada tempe la...kene makan ni...heheh..." then the next day, we went to the nearby pasar...so while i was in this shop, hubby went to the pasar alone...he bought tempe and cili kering. "dear, ari nih masak sambal tempe lagi ya...hehehe". hahaha..."okla kanda". i couldnt help it but giggle all the way home.

another dish that he loves to eat, is this nasi kuning yg di jual kat restoren belakg likas mart. sedap jugakla nasi tuh, for rm2 (used to be rm1.50) dgn lauk and nasi yg byk so its worth it. and now, aku pula masih teringat2 udang galah masak sweat n sour smlm..i ended up makan nasi utk second round kol 11 semlm.....kuikuikui...and ketam ari tuh...isk...i love seafood so much, although i'm allergic to it...tp lantakla, makan jela kan dulu, lps tuh kita letak ubatla...hehehehe...

ehem2....urs truly is wearing new shoes today courtesy of hubby...hehehe, jenama? no brand...but its okay, i still love the shoes to the max, its green in color, and design nya cute..so i love it...for me...branded stuff was never a huge issue, in fact i have a pair of shoes hubby bought at a local pasar malam....i cant remember the price la, but i think u all can guess it...yupp, that day my shoes rosak (this one considered branded shoes, but still rosak jugak, so how??), so we had to buy a new pair there....and i still wear that shoes till now, even to the office....selesa and tahan lama...i dont care about the brand or the price, as long as they are comfortable enough for me to wear it....and on top of it, they were from hubby...so...i really value all the things that hubby bought me....price is way out of the question when the gift came from someone so dear to u, right...honey, can i have that handbag to match with my new shoes?? hehehe....

wokies, now am supposed to check again the students' mark....til then..

tiring friday

Been a tiring dy but nonetheless fruitful. Had farewell lunch for Prof KK at BM6 and the food was quite nice. Today also, I'm shrouded by final year students asking my signature as the assistant fyp coordinator. Goodness, I never knew I was their fyp coordinator. He should have informed me earlier if he wanted me to sign on behalf of him. Plus, why on earth he put all those evaluation forms for fyp students in my pigeon hole and not a single word of memo! I was rather shocked seeing all those forms piling in pigeon hole. Gedebak gedebuk jugak tgk borg2 tuh, aku ke yg kena key in semua markah2 tuh...I called him afterwards and yes I had to it! Kena buat analisis markah student tuh...Takpe2....but next time, let me know okay...jgn main letak jer dlm box aku, terkejut den...

So, with still much work to do on analysis of weak students in my program, and more work from my superior, I guess there goes my weekends...

JJ surprised me by asking 'that' question. Buat malu aku je la...hehe...siap sound lg, "lain mcm je aura kamu nih sekrg nih"....cisss...smpt lagi fire aku...

Happy weekends

I'm not so excited for the coming long weekends...Why? Coz I have dozens of answer scripts to be mark and analyse the result. Seesshh...And I'm still waiting those files from th*m*s which i need to browse through over the weekend and make analysis on the performance of some selected (weak) students. Which means by rights I shouldnt be blogging at the moment coz I have dozens of things to do actually but heck, I'm so stressed out...I need to write.

And some more, I'm expecting a busy week ahead as the fyp presentation will be conducted on the 2nd and 3rd of May, of which I'm one of the examiner, so my mornings and afternoons on that two days are fully booked. Thats why I'm rushing for preparing the marks of the students because we need to get it endorsed by the dean first before keying in the grades before 12th of May. Yikes!

Okla, got to go....gaji naik secopot jer, keje tmbh menimbun bak gunung everest. Hahaha!! tuhla keje aku, komplen2...

Hope everyone will enjoy the weekends! :)

geram

i hate his boss!! i hate him so much...he is making my hubby's life a hell, and mine as well...how can a tuan haji be such pain in the ass... toloooonng-lah ada sifat timbang rasa dan BIJAKSANA sikit! fed up la..

apa nak mkn lunch nih, makanan kafe sucks bigs time! there's hardly anyone going to the cafe anymore. salah siapa?

napala mulut ku nih sgt laser di pagi ari nih? tensed....i should take a nap probably, sleep off the pain...

ru still mad at me?

Kenapa ye bila org lain yg kene marah, org lain pula yg kene tempiasnya. Atau mmg sikap toya dan selamba aku nih yg membuatkan org hot dgn aku. mgkin mmg sbb aku x pandai memujuk, aku cuma tau berdiam diri saja kalau org lain tgh marah. ntahla.

By the way, dah lama x blog. Kurang sihat since thursday last week. I dont know whether it is normal to fall sick, or get the feeling u r sick during pregnancy. tapi itulah yg aku rasa. since dah masuk masuk 4 mths last week, morning sickness dah menjadi2, headache amatla teruk. morning sickness yg melanda selalunya waktu ptg dah bertukar pada waktu pg, sometimes ptg ada lagi, even worse mlm pon jugak. napa ya, bukan ke after the first trimester, semua nih patutnya berkurangan. on friday, kene ambik mc sbb x tahan sgt sakit kepala. muntah more than 7 times..makan je, mesti nak keluar balik.. tummy hurt so bad, ye la makan tak blh asyik nak muntah je ofr 3 days in a row...to a point on sunday morning, muntah darah...alamak, at first panik jugak but when dr ckp its nothing serious, just infection pada tekak...so lega sikit...

pegi urut kepala kat rumah nenek belkg rumah, she told me psl 'keteguran' sbb aku sakit kat kening...tuh ikut istilah org tua2 kat kg aku...ntahla, mungkin juga....sbb mmg x elok pon balik maghrib2...but nak buat mcm mana...time tuh la aku blh balik...

hubby call td, so maybe we'll be going to dr sharifah's again today for the monhtly check up....hope baby is doing well....got my blood test result yesterday. am a bit worried on the last remarks made by the dr...takpe, will ask dr sharifah later...

till then..

tensionla!

when did u finally realized that u had no one to count for when u are in need of help. strange. is it how things work? when somebody is in trouble, we will definitely give a handful of help, but when we are in trouble ada ke org nak tlg? everybody will say no. no sorry, cant help u. siblings suddenly become distance relatives. ada ke gitu. bila nak pinjam duit cepat aje dorg nih dpt, bila nak kutip balik..semuanya lari. hey, we too have our problem k. cuba la tlg sikit bertolak ansur. tau senang je nak mintak. bila kita nak mintak tlg dia, mula la ckp no. ada pulak dah pinjam buat senyap je x kenal..bila ada masalah nak mintak tlg kita balik baru la timbul. hutang dulu tak setel lagi, nak mintak tlg lg..aduila..pening.. tlg faham, we are just 4 mths married, so u see all our savings have been used for the wedding k...so we are starting fresh now! baru tinggi mcm semak tepi jln, dah kena kais saving tuh...aduhh!

now, prob is we need to get a huge sum of money ready by today ~ this afternoon!, which seems to be almost a mission impossible 4 as both of us are totally broke and our effort to kejar penghutang is failed. even our effort to become penghutang also failed.. hehehe...yeah, financial status is that bad! well, tula org tua pesan sediakan payung sebelum hujan. i sometimes wonder where did our salary go?? hehe..ntahla..sometimes we saved a little, but there is always something urgent yg nak kene guna duit tuh...e.g. org dtg dgn muka seposen nak berhutang (tp x sure la bila buleh bayar or nak bayar ke tidak), car broke down, etc etc...

well... and then we have to pay for 3 cars (his car, mine, and another additional car used by *** who is not willing to pay but knows how to use the car only urghhh!!!! even maintenance pon x tanak bayar) and the house also. the rest was just for basic daily use (fuel + food + bills + family). shopping?? nope both of us not kaki shopping, neither we are gadget freak. so, not so much money spent on both items.

i always told hubby, buat baik berpada2 buat jahat jgn sekali. despite helping others, kena beringat jugak dont over doing it...coz we might not know ada ke org nak tlg kita kalau kita susah....ntahla, mmgla kena tlg org dgn ikhlas kan...bukannya mintak balasan ke apa... cuma kdg2 kita pon ingat gini je kan...ye la time nih dorg susah, so kita tlg, nanti esk lusa takut2 kita pulak perlu pertolongan dorg. but the truth is, salah fakta nih sebenarnya. out of 10 ppl, klu ada sorg nak tlg balik tuh pon dah kira ok...barula tau sapa kawan sapa tak sekrg...

sorry, am a bit pissed off actually...and sedih jugak.....sampai ati..mcm2 alasan, tak blhla, x dptla....nak mintak balik duit sendiri pon x dpt, nak pinjam duit dia harap ampunla......takpela...agaknya dah normal la kehidupan, ada masa kita di atas ada masa di bawah....i just hope i can bring back my car ari nih jugakkkk....miss her...

this mth alone i had to pay for 2 cars and the house, and my 2 insurance schemes....and i'm left with dust in the bank now...hehe, yeah u should expect that when ur salary is merely *k per mth. kuikuikui...alahai i think i can laugh and cry at the same time now...

takpe takpe...life goes on kan...on a happier note, i just gor discounted almost 90% for my study loan by sweet M*R*...alhamdulillah, i only have to pay rm6.5k for my loan. imagine they gave more than rm60k of scholarship. thank u. should start paying my study loan now...hehe...ops, this just mean another hutangla need to be settled. *scratching head*

skim cepat kaya

Program meeting adjourned few minutes ago and oh boy was it hot in there. Hehe...well, i have just being appointed as the new final year project coordinator, so means urs truly have to be the one handling a-z of fyp students. *clap clap* adui, huge responsibility, but what the heck, if they think i can do it, so be it lah. we'll see how it turns out. anyhow, i'll be passing over the job of being the secretary to MR and SS. so, pandai2 korg lah rotate kan. the thing is, so bosan la taking minutes nih..x leh nak leka sikit pon..u have to listen carefully, smpi yg tak paham pon kene pahamkan...right?? Hmm...i also got another task given by kak maz today. well, not that difficult but it means more things to dig out during my free time. takpela... (SKT, SKT, SKT...thats all in my head).

Well, being a servant means u have to serve, be it to a person, body, or org. so i just need to stay focus, and finish up work quickly ~ aiseh shouldnt be blogging now la! :p now that everything is much clearer, i certainly am eager to try out that scheme cepat kaya someone proposed to me.. ahahaha...biar cepat sikit duit berkepuk2 dlm kocek, jadi multimillionaire, so bulehla resign by tomorrow...*wishing*

Bye peeps!

mari belajar memasak

Breakfast at my workplace sucks big time. And the food prepared for lunch is so terrible i feel a huge amount of regret that the canteen people are still here for this semester. I think they can hear me sighed as I walked searching food for breakfast. Terpaksa la beli nasi goreng yg sungguh dull rasanya itu. Masuk mulut 2 3 suap dah rasa nak terkeluar balik. Why or why...mcm nak ajar masak pon ada jugak. please la...bihun goreng ma pagi tadi lagi best, i think ada satu kuali pon boleh aku nak abiskan. its either nak jimat garam, dan rencah2 masakan yg lain or mmg pesen masak macam tuh. expensive pulak tuh. i really dont get it, kalau expensive but sedap its okay la kan....sometimes, aku terpikir yg daily food yg ada kat sana for breakfast tuh adalah makanan yg sama 3 bln lalu cuma di panaskan je...the taste sama je, flatttttttt....x masin, x pedas, nak kata ada udang kering pon takde, sayur seketui pon takde....apa la hai...prob is, we dont really have a choice over here. x pasal2 nak drive gi tpt lain when u just want to have a quick breakfast kan..patutnya convenient la tpt mkn dekat, ini mcm ni pulak....even worse, hubby told me that guy will stay here for quite some time ( or maybe forever) sbb dia org kuat org big boss...so, eventually its either i kill the tokeh kantin or i kill my time to go elsewhere to find better food!

i want to be super duper productive today!!! (hehehe...kene saiko diri sendiri pagi2 nih kan...so semangat sikit keje).....caiyok, caiyok.....

till then..

hubby or sktm??

I didnt do anything much today at work, as a matter of fact i did nothing but browsed the internet, chatted with friends and bla bla.. u can say that i'm such a lousy worker today....hehehe

anyhow, i told hubby i will watch him play today. and i also wished him the best of luck for his match today but make sure that my school, sktm that is, will not lose over his team this afternoon. hahaha!... adui peningla, nak sokong sapa nih? this is what u get when u work at same workplace as hubby.

btw, just a quick note. why is it whenever i ate the pills i feel nauseated..aduihh...i'm not really religious at popping pills, even when i am sick, but for the sake of the baby, i try to eat them whenever i can. but somehow, i feel unwell after consuming those pills. napa eh??? any advice?

wait.....

opss.....i threw up just now..mengapakah harus begini seh...i seriously need to watch the match now..hubby is a sucker for football, although he has no interest on new reality show called myteam. main utk dept pon okla kan bi....hehe...i'm coming now!

aiman tak kisah??

Let me share with u guys about the breakfast incident this morning. But before that, I just wanna say in here that I finally had my blood taken this morning at hospital luyang despite being freaking nervous and scared. Yes, I have a huge problem when it comes to seeing more of my blood ~ something more than a drop is considered too much for someone yg phobia tgk darah mcm aku nih….hahaha…hampeh kan aku nih…furthermore, I am truly someone who cannot stand the pain of a needle…adui la…yeah slap me please as I cried in the car after donating ~ 5 ml of my blood. Buat malu ja…Betapa penakutnya aku nih dgn jarum and darah…that is why I have never dream of becoming a medical practitioner be it doctor or nurse, not in a million years. It’s also very saddening to declare that I have never even once donated my blood. It is true that my weight doesn’t make me eligible to do so, but that is not the main reason why I didn’t do it. Truth is, I’m just plain scared of needles and blood. Duh! Tapi utk baby, I brave myself this morning. Heheh…Tu pon puas di pujuk oleh hubby. Bikin drama swasta tamil ja kat dpn lab patologi tadi.

Bloody story asides, now lets talk about this breakfast I had this morning. As they have withdrawn such a huge amount of blood (hehehe…) I told hubby that I needed to eat seguni beras to function well again. Hubby laughed and said, “ yela yela… takpe kita pegi breakfast now ok.” So off we went to this nearby restaurant. I had bakso and the usual Nescafe (fyi I’m a committed cafein addict). Hubby had kuih bakar and Nescafe too. But tgh mkn tuh ada jmpa rambut la pulak, alamak…really spoilt my appetite la dude. Then we requested for a new bakso. They were a bit reluctant to do so, but we insist on the replacement as we have the rights to do so. Maklumla, ari tuh pegi ceramah shafie apdal, so we are trying to be pengguna yg bijak la konon. Then, the bill came and we were quite surprised on the amount that we had to pay. It’s a walloping RM9 for two iced nes, sepotong kuih and bakso. Uiks, ni sama mcm makan lunch for two je nih…why oh why??? So, again in our effort to become pengguna yg bijak (we don’t want that nasi dagang incident to happen to us…heheh) we asked on the price for each item. Adui mcm pegawai kpdn pulak daa…anyhow the waitress did explain. Rupanya ada caj tersembunyi, bakso yg ditukar tadi di kira half price. What the ???? Napa pulak cenggitu, mkn pon x luak lg mau kira. Furthermore, she told me that rambut dkt dlm cili bukan dlm bakso, so I still need to pay. Apo la hai…Yes mmgla dlm cili, but I used that cili letak dlm bakso. And semua makanan tuh mmg asal dr kedai dia je…dahla tuh, second bakso tuh letak sikit je so I thought dia mmg nak cover rugi kat situ. Bila I mentioned napa bakso tuh sikit, terus diam. Lagi nak questioned itu ini. And some more for a simple iced nes, it costs RM2. For me agak mahal la, x patutla harga dinaikkan smpi mcm tuh. RM1.50 tuh logik jugala coz I know it used to be RM1 lebih maybe RM 1.20-1.30. Isk, manusia2. nak untung cepat je. Siap ada kos tersembunyi tuh, tak tahan…nasib baik tanya, kalau tak dah kena tipu. I know, mmg membazir air liur je to get our RM1.50 back and I don’t mind people thinking that we are stingy or what. But benda2 mcm nih, shouldn’t be allowed to happen kan. Dia buat sekali lepas, then next she can do something else that can cost more to other customers. Walaupon aiman selalu kata, “aiman tak kisah”. Hopefully kita jgnla jadi tak kisah je dgn semua benda kan….Others might be the next victim klu kita ignore saja. Amboi, pjg pulak entry nih…hehe….anyhow, just wanna share the experience that’s all. Dulu2 mmg kami pon buat x kisah je, sbb x la terasa sgt dulu…but these days, the prices have gone up ridiculously for almost everything, so kenala bijak dan berhati2 selalu. Kdg2 manusia nih suka ambik kesempatan, betui dak??? According to kpdn harga runcit tong gas 14 kg should be RM24.50 each. But few days ago my brother bought it for RM27, so imagine the untung yg dorang ambik for each customer when in fact it should be cheaper. Govt dah bagi subsidi pon, including lori2 yg angkut tong2 gas tuh ~ fleetcard. X phmla napa kena naik harga jugak.

So, jadila pengguna yg bijak selalu…its okay to say, aiman x kisah kawan dgn arif, but not aiman tak kisah bila harga brg2 naik melampau…huahauahauha…..

Till then…

i'm so blue

just curious, so i tried this..

Your Power Color Is Blue

Relationships and feelngs are the most important things to you.You are empathetic and accepting - and good at avoiding conflict.If someone close to you is in pain, it makes you hurt as well.You try to heal the ones you love with your kind and open heart.

What's" Your Power Color?

down with flu again

Its funny how sometimes u wish u r down with flu on a certain day, and that is what I'm expecting to happen since yesterday. so i can get an mc today and sleep at home. so i can finally have a good rest after the horrendous months i went through. I had trouble waking up this morning due to splitting headcahe and running nose. i'm not the type of person who catches cold that easily in fact sometimes i got healed without having to see the doctor. it seems like my antibody is doing its duty efficiently i need not external help. alhamdulillah praise the Almighty, if its the case. but somehow, i've been thinking of having a good rest at home or maybe i should apply for a leave - maybe a day or two right. but nope, i'm saving up my leave for next week. hehehe, yes i'm a bit stingy when it comes to using my annual leave. or perhaps it is normal for pregnant lady to feel slightly warm and cold intermittently. i've been experiencing this quite a lot now and its a bit confusing and frustrating as it made me feel that i'm sick but not sick enough to get an mc. ada jugak gini ye...

hubby is very very supportive this days and i dont think i could have done it without him. many good months have passed and being married has been nothing else but fun to me. and it also means that we are learning about each other everyday and accepting one another. i've learned so much now, and i bet i will continue learning so many things about sharing life with my love one. sometimes i wonder what does it take to be such a daunting wife, a passionate lover and yes soon on how to be a loving mother to the children. silly me of wishing that sometimes they teach u all that in schools. and scholars published more reasearch work on that matter. well, just a wishful thinking. no matter how difficult and confusing it is, i will have to brave through the journey because i chose my path already, its just a matter of continuing my steps. so its true heh, because everything is crystal clear now that marriage life is wonderful yet a bit complicated and twisted. it depends on how the two of u hold on to each other and make sure the rope doesnt get entangled even further over the years.

seriusnya aku di pagi ari nih...hehe....okla...kena abiskan the remaining lab report utk di mark. wish me luck. oh ya, pagi td terkantoi tgk carry marks budak2 lain kat dpn bilik ****. alamak, terkulat2 nak jwb bila dia tnya buat apa tuh. heheh, i was actually comparing the marks she had given to the students with mine sbb aku rasa terbg lebih markah kat student2 aku. so, i'm a bit woried if eveybody blh score final, means the whole class dpt A, A-. Aiyo, masalah besar nih!!! help.

moody

i feel weak and miserable today. woke up late this morning and as a result of that hubby was late for work. again! yes, i'm such a lousy worker. selalu x bersemangat nak pegi keje. lucky that being an academician, my working hrs are a bit flexible where i can clock in and out at odd hrs and have brekkie/lunch anytime i like. ye ke buleh camni. well, they told me i can do that. heh. ikut ckp org la nih kan. well, for me so long as u get the job done, it doesnt matter on the time u were in the office. yes, i'm always late for work but i went home rather late everyday and sometimes i had to work till the wee hrs too. and darling hubby would be very kind enough to wait for me. but poor hubby, he works with the administration so his working hrs are quite restricted. therefore he needs to clock in before the machine starts singing. hehe, many a times i watched people on a marathon race, running towards the punch card once the music started. including urs truly! well, although i'm entitled (as they call it) to clock in at anytime convenient to me (us being the lecturer) i still am cautious about being late for work. yes unless i have the word - PROF - in front of my name then only i need not to worry much about that yellow card. *sigh*

i spent the day preparing the minutes (actually done with that one yesterday) and filling up the form for subject listing and examination requirements for our department today. so, for the rest of the day and till now, i'm bloghopping and typing a new entry now! so lazy ah me!

my supervisor for my masters project had been trying to reach me over the past few days knowing that i'll be coming to u** again this week for my convocation. he even rang me last nite. but being such an ignorant, i chose not to answer the call. how rude heh? well, firstly i just thought one of the biggest possibility he is such a persistent caller these days is he needs the papers that i "promised" him earlier before i went back to u**. well, i remembered that the last time he told me that he needed me to write 3 papers out of my little project and i've submitted 1 for the international conference at promonade organized by u** - my own department. now he'll be asking for the rest. i also remember that he wanted to me to edit 2 papers from my lab mate. in fact i have to prepare all the papers (5 in total) because he wants to submit them to the journal. he needs them for publication. aiyo. byk lupa suda la projek tu, plus it was such a small project (3 mths ok) why would someone make 3 papers out of that small contribution. unless la aku buat masters by research, confident and byk sikit information nak bg. aiyooo....plus, i actually have tonnes of work to do at the office now, & these things are making life even more difficult. in fact, i dont see a point why should i do all that. so i thought if he really needs to prepare the papers, he can do so himself because he already have our thesis. furthermore, if i were to spend my time preparing them i gain nothing in return - the way i see it, its more like a win-lose situation. i'm sorry i may sound a bit selfish, but i know as part of our study, in order to fulfill the criteria for passing masters project or even degree project, we are only required to submit the thesis and 1 paper out of our research. and i did that already. i'm not willing to sacrifice my time doing something that i'm not supposed to do. plus, i was in a dillemma last time when he asked me to attend the conference. mmg aku taknak pegi because i know i have to report for duty di u** immediately. but i went because i just thought its good for my exposure and what more i can use the paper and the attendance for the conference as part of fulfilling the requirements for my conformation. but sadly, the uni wont accept the paper or the conference that we attended during the study. to make things worst, i had to report early to work, as they already know i've completed my study. i plan to go back to work somewhere in the middle of january, so when i registered for duty after the midterm break, i dont have to teach for this semester. i can do other tasks of course anything they want but lecturing, because given such short amount of time i dont think i can do all the preparations for the lecture. yela, bagila at least few weeks of adjustment period utk aku masuk blk keje and learn abt the subject i'll be teaching next semester. so i can prepare myself and good lecture materials for my students. see, even RS is taking a 2 mths break after he came back from UK. x leh ka aku bertenang and tarik nafas sikit after my viva. x leh ka aku cuti lama sikit after my wedding. ini after 1 week, dah lintang pukang buat nota and nak mengganti kelas. aaarrrghhh!! but unfortunately i had to come back to work on the 3rd week of the semester (imagine the no of lectures i have to replace), and they gave me a new subject which was introduced this semester to teach. no reference, no past yrs questions, no notes, NOTHING!!! i have to start everything from scratch!!! d*mn!!!!... and here i am - survived lg dr nightmare dahsyat ni. urghhh...x pasal2 aku kena masuk keje awal and suffer. bencila!!! thats y i'm so reluctant to answer the calls. partly angry, bored, and fed up. yeah, call me kacang lupakan kulit but i dont feel that way. mmg keras sgt bunyi nya but as far as i know, i've fulfilled my responsibilities. i went to study at u** to get my degree, and i did all the things that i'm required to do. beyond that, i'm just plain tired to hear it. i'm tired of fulfilling other people's interest. i cannot simply pleased everybody at any time of the day. however, i thanked him for all the support and guidance throughout the project, its just that i gave in return everything that he gave me. and i DID my part. I DID what i'm supposed to do already. so sorry!!!! if its not enough...thats all i can give, doc.

wow, long entry. but the clouds in my mind are clearing now. so, my head feels a bit lighter and my mouth starts to show its curve approaching the ear. i feel much better and smiling now. so, should i turn off my hp during the convo, or is it to kureng ajar to do so. ntahla, keep on pushing me, i might just do that.

its only 4.16 pm now. and i'm starving like mad. skipped lunch today, correction, i ate kuih lapis which i bought for breakfast this morning during lunch. kenyang jugak mkn, but of course x tahan lama kan...now my tummy needs filling laa...at 4 pm, what to eat daaa???!!!!!!!!

i need to go for asar prayer now. pray hard so mungkin lebih tenang hati nih. hubby, can we go home early today?? x mood betul la...tolonggg..

so tired

circling the bulding for three times with duration of 5 mins for each round is really tiring. sometimes i just hope they could provide me with a flyover from my room to the administation office. but thats just a wishful thinking heh! distance is really keeping me away from the admin and it is such a huge obligation for me to check on my pigeon hole, which is bad la coz i need to keep myself updated with the current news. hmm, yeah i'm much depending on my office email to alert me with meetings, seminars or tasks given by my boss. makcik sungguh x larat nak pusing jauh2. and i'm only 3 mths pregnant, couldnt imagine myself being 8 mths.

boss was not in his best mood today but he was nice when it comes to dealing with the task he had given me. i thought he was going to raise his voice to me too because he was on a phone argument with AP when i was in the room. he was almost shouting saying ~ can u just arrange that, i have so many things to do now!!!!!. that sentence sends a scary signal to my ear. but he could still smile when we continued our discussion. and even when i made many mistakes he still have the time to help fix them. so, tq boss. and of course, Alhamdulillah for making my task a bit easier today. pada Dia sahajalah kita memohon, cr rezeki nih is not as simple as that kan klu Allah x bantu kita.

i noticed that my boss is quite a good practioner in his beliefs , I guess based on the posters, notes and wordings on his wall. well, whatever it is, ever since ** is no longer the head of program and my boss replaced him things are more organized this day. so, keep up the good work eh boss! hehe..i should ask him to read this entry i guess, hahaha...bodek pulak rasa ari nih...

we went to clinic today to get my daily prescriptions because I'm running out of them for few weeks already. pity my baby, coz he/she should be getting enough supplements for excellent growth. dahla mama dia ni makan sikit je (sikit je, x tipu...hehehe) so poor baby. i also feel dizzy sometimes after a long period of not consuming the pills. i dont know, it could be the lack of supplements, coz this time around i noticed that doctor has trippled the amount of dosage that should taken per day. at 3 months the buldge on my tummy has started to show already. and soon enough everybody will notice it, hmmm...i also have problem with my clothings now. i have difficulty fitting into my usual office wears and had to do some modifications to enable me to wear them. Hehe... aih, nak kene shopping baju baru la nih..i cant wait to go for the next appointment with dr S. we'll be doing another scanning to see the growth of the baby. i cant wait, seriously! =)

urmm..i have tonnes of work today and u know what...i just dont care!!!! (nih ckp dlm hati jela..hehe)...well, today's lab was quick as i only had 1 student but he really pissed me off this morning. he forgot his lab last week so i asked him to come today for the lab. and guess what, he forgot to bring his labcoat. aiyaaa...apa la yg kamu ingat nih, asyik lupa ja...geram tau, so i keep on scolding him. alamk jahat pulak rasa ari nih. well, ada reason setiap kali aku marah tuh, but just too lazy to tell the details in here.

am so tired, i feel like sleeping now...zzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZ

cheezecake anyone?

i spent almost rm12 for lunch buying a regular bread and cakes today from a nearby bakery in kingfisher, which by the way is quite unusual for me. funny, the image of cheezecake and choc cake stayed in my head and they didnt even once dissapear from my thoughts, not even for a second. sigh. so, while working on my notes, i keep on saying must buy the cakes during lunch. hmm..its ok dear, so as long as benda yg nak di mkn tuh x pelik sgt and can be obtained easily, mummy will find a way to get them for u. the thing is, its kinda of funny thinking that masa kat depan pintu kedai kek tuh i can feel hampir2 nak meleleh air liur teringin nak makan kek tuh..hehehe...alahai..

work is fine today, except that i hope i can work super faster so everything can be settled before we leave for utm next week. the convocation will be from the 25th-26th march, but my session will be on the 26th afternoon. cant believe having to wear another robe again. and hopefully another robe in the future but lets just keep that thought asides first. i really need to focus on my work now and know my direction. so, cant wait to se dearest friends at the convocation ~ paie, zue, ayu, and cik rose kita.

my usual wednesday meeting was really shocking yesterday, in fact everybody was so surprised to know all the details about lies and misuse of power by one of the lecturer. well, i just listened and stayed quiet during the meeting. anyhow, lesson learnt ~ be honest in what u do, and be prepared also for others to condemn u. u might not know that ur best friend can become ur worst enemy. mcm tuhla adat dunia kot.

another chapter on this course and i'll be free from hassle of making new notes. urghhh! have to work faster now. adieu.

mcm2 peel student

i am chased by a student for the past few days. reason being he wanted to do his lab replacement next week. i asked him why he didnt come for the lab on monday and his answer was shocking. nak runtuh telinga aku dgr. "lupa la puan, saya tidak check jadual". he was unaware that there was a lab on monday. ape nih?? and his friends didnt inform him either. okay. asap belum kluar lg dr telinga aku. of course i am mad. well, for that matter i have to come to the 3 hrs lab again next monday at 8 AM supervising him. ONLY him! urghhh...hangin satu badan aku. yes, because when i was a student i had 4 or 5 labs course and thank God i have NEVER forgotten of my labwork. not even once because i'll always read the instructions at night and have lab the next day. isk, geram betul den. dahla, sah2 x dtg lab, harap nak bc lab manual lagi la bermimpi kot. secondly, PLEASE. u r a unversity students already, do not expect other people to take care of u in everything that u do especially in ur studies. its ur battle and u urself have to fight it.

i wanted to do the lab on friday but he has a replacement for CRE midterm test. tgk tuh, other lecturers pon have to suffer. its fine to be active in uni's activity but pls dont neglect the studies. these types of student will come to u with muka seposen asking for test, labs replacement....etc...

just found out that there will a short meeting this afternoon and my boss called just now to inform it. and he also asked regarding the task he has given last week. and some more adding another task. adeh la, baru nak tarik nafas lega sikit...start bersilat balik la aku...

so, ok. enough ramblings. back to work...adieu.

being lazy & cranky

todays lecture was cancelled simply because I was unable to finish up the lecture materials yesterday. yes, my morning sickness has gotten worse day by day. and yesterday, i couldnt do anything but lay down and rest. headache was unbearable and my tummy hurt all day long. i couldnt eat anything but fruits, therefore my empty tummy triggers more headache in the afternoon. gosh, lucky those who dont have any morning sickness symptoms. anyhow, i just hope i can get through all these dgn penuh kesabaran, and soon all these will go away and i can start concentrating on my work again. its rather weird though, sometimes the pain will come in the morning, or in the afternoon and i can still feel it at night making it hard for to me to get a good sleep. other times, it can go worse ~ morning sickness for the whole day ~ nausea, headache, stomach ache ~ normally i'll go flat and just sleep the day. and yes, that means skipping work! well, hopefully things will get better soon. i heard once u went through ur first trimester, the morning sickness will fade away too. lets pray its true!

on our way to work today, there seemed to be lots of people at one side of the of the road close to the bridge near yayasan sabah. apparently there was an accident involving a proton and i dont know what. the car smashed onto this huge tree and we couldnt see the driver in the car. maybe they took him/her to the hospital already but looking at the car probably the driver could be badly hurt. so pls, drive safely everyone. mmg dah lambat time tuh, so maybe this fellow is rushing for the punchcard because i think he was speeding based on the mark on the road and the damage to the car. so, pls be careful. its better to have a red stain on ur punch card than in the car. right?

its close to 11 am now. i need to work faster on the notes. been calling utm since early morning and couldnt reach them. darn. i'm so sleepy i barely can open my eyes. woke up at 2 last nite and couldnt sleep till morning. i managed to watch a weird movie on cinemax, and do my laundry. gosok baju and yes makan. at 3 am! hehe. i guess eating at this very odd hour is not a sinful act for a pregnant lady. har har har...sendiri punya rules! boleh ke...i cant help it ok....i'm starving man! i'm hungry at most of the times. is it normal? ntahla...

well, off to work now. till then.

today is a nice day...so far!

today's lecture was fun! so, apart from learning to master this new subject i was given for this semester, in time, i also learnt a few tricks on students' physcology. it was not easy in the beginning but i'm learning now, slowly but surely. hopefully things will become much easier in the future and my interest in teaching will grow continuously. right? few interesting things happened in class today. caught 2 students cheated on the attendance when i called out the names. kan kantoi. nak tipu aku ye??? hehehe...so i told them that i'll send the attendance list to CSI so they can trace who is responsible for signing on behalf of their friends. so baik ngaku cepat2. gertak je hahaha but of course they are not kindergartens student anymore so nobody buy that trick. yeah, instead of feeling guilty they laughed at my joke. aiyak..but i did send my warmest regards to the 2 heroes missing in action, r**al and e**und. hehe, so half an hr after class, one of the boy came to see me to apologize. ok, good boy! i actually like my students, they are a bit naughty here and there, but they are good students, i mean most of them excell in their studies. so no prob to me, u can be naughty but when it comes to study ~ pls act like a professor. ahaks!

the five of us went out during the friday prayer to have a quick lunch at easyways. milky tea with pearl and tuna toast sounded tasty enough for me and plus i am still full after a late breakfast. on our way back to u*s, aemi asked whether i'm pregnant or not? hehe, eventually nobody at the office knows i'm pregnant except dyg and ani. i never intend to spread the news yet, until i cannot hide tummy anymore. ironic huh? yeah, i'm just not ready to tell the whole world yet, its too soon and i just dont want to get the extra excitement later on. dont get me wrong, i'm keeping my hope high as the sky but too much publicity will make me even more anxious of this pregnancy thingy. i dont want to be overreacting. listening to more unfortunate stories of pregnancies and babies is too scary for me at the moment. get it? no? well, yeah its okay. lets not dwell too much on this issue.

anyhow, i did tell her that i'm expecting. that i'm into my 9th weeks now. 9 weeks?? yes. cant believe time flies so fast heh. i'm approaching the end of the first trimester and yet i dont really know much about being a mommy. huh? help! she said i look different now, that is why she popped out the big question. hehe. i'm getting bigger! thats what she told me. urghhh!!!! hahaha. also, she told me i look like a married lady. huhuhuhu. of course la, i am dear. or maybe what she wanted to say was, i'm getting old? that i look like a makcik now(can i join the makcik blogger later on??) so just now she tried to say things nicely. uwaaaaaa!!!

we went to see the house yesterday since the tenant already moved few days ago. the house was fine, and furthermore it is filled with all the necessary items ~ fridge, furniture, kitchen is nice, washing machine (must have!) and so on. decoration is simple but still nice to me. perfect enough for us to start our new adventure into becoming a family. yeay! i just cant wait to move in! and start our family...hubby said "finally dpt la i mkn masakan u". hahaha! (betapa aku nih x masaknya bila kat rumah..teruk kan).

its friday today and weekends come again. yippie. but do not be too happy about it, coz the weekends will be spend marking the students' midterm! *sigh* ayoyo...

so people, have a blast this weekends. i'm sure gonna 'enjoy' mine. hehe. take care.

aku kena berubah ke

alamak, pagi nih aku smpi ofis pukul 9.45. :P hehe, suka ati aku je kan. hmm, best jugak dgr celoteh apek di pagi hari, i really enjoy it. ade ke org yg sentiase bergembira dlm hidupnya. asyik ketawa je. mungkin apek kot orgnya. dia kool je. mcm mana nak jadi happy mcm dia eh. serious x larat pagi tadi. semlm teman hubby keje smpi 11 mlm. n that 1 hr ride home wasnt helping either. balik rumah terus flat n tidoq. and i woke up dgn kepala yg berdenyut2 pg tadi. hubby pegi keje awal, poor him. his workload is very taxing nowadays. sian sgt tgk dia. aku suruh cuti je ari nih, but hubby x nak. maybe byk lg keje x setel kat ofis.

pagi tadi lepas antar final exam paper and minutes pada bos rasa lega yg amat sgt. aku risau bila pikirkan exam paper aku kene reject utk yg kesekian kalinya. fuh! nasib baik CCM kata ok je. alhamdulillah.

semlm, jumpa few lecturers/tutors yg baru. masing2 belum dpt bilik lagi so i was excited jugak coz bilik2 di sebelah aku tu dibersihkan. means, some of the new lecturers/tutors akan di tempatkan di situ. yeay! x le keseorangan lagi aku di row ni. but, sadly ani and sariah dpt bilik somewhere dekat2 dgn kak maz n lillian. hmm...alahai, my neighbour is this new chinese lady. which i supposed cannot ajak 'mengular' pegi mana2 nih. hehehe...belum apa2 lg aku dah plan nak buat jahat...kuikui...tuhla pasal agaknya ani and sariah x buleh duduk dekat2 dgn aku..kenakalan aku kdg2 extreme jugak kot. pegi keje suka ati ja pukul brp datuk harimau. takpela ade hikmahnya kot, plus i really enjoy my privacy here. although bilik aku jauh dr main ofis aku x kisah, takpe aku kene jln byk sikit. its good for the baby.

hmm...not like kak sariah, wpon dia jadi fellow kat sini, she came to work at 7 am. aemi told me that. whoaa....bagus eh. yupp, sariah mmg rajin. hmm..apa nak jadi dgn aku nih.

aku kena berubah. i think, i need to start organizing my time and stuff dgn baik. kemas meja aku yg bersepah2 ni. n kemas file2 aku. and yes, i need to prepare the lecture notes for tomorrow dgn kadar segera. and also, kene siapkan translation secepat mungkin. oh yeah, sutha dah start mintak result midterm dia last wed. even most of the student dah mintak. hmm...ada more than 40 scripts, sempat ke aku nak buat ari nih. aku kena mark another more or less 40 scripts of lab report jugak. urgh...bila pk semua keje serentak, jadi bingung den. takpe2...relax. one thing at a time.

ok, got to go...layannn keje...daaaaa

blissful morning?

I went to work with hubby this morning feeling all happy and excited about starting my day. But, somehow this conversion sort of spoiled everything.

Me: Hello, slmt pagi.
Operator: Slmt pagi.
Me: Boleh tlg smbgkan saya pada Restoran Nelayan.
Operator: Berapa nombor?
Me: Oh, saya ingatkan awak ada senarai nombor.
Operator: Sini tiada simpan nombor.
Me: Ok, I’m sorry. (Belum sempat sebut sorry, dia dah letak telefon,,,what the ^()&& (^&*&????).

Okay, I’m a bit pissed off actually. Firstly, she was rather rude. As a matter of fact she is completely the opposite of a telephonist that I’ve always imagine. I mean, come on. They were supposed to answer the phone nicely, with lower tones and smiling all the way as if the caller saw them. She sounded like she just had civil war with her husband. Was it so wrong to let me finish talking first before she slammed the phone? Haro!! X sekolah ka? She should have at least say sorry and say it nicely that they didn’t keep the number with them. Apa la masalahnya mau ckp sorry ja.

Secondly, as an operator for a big organization, university for instance, she should have all those important contact numbers for places like hotels, other organizations, unis, and those important makan2 place. Aiyarkk.. Or maybe she was just too lazy to keep them all or perhaps it will be such a waste of her time to check on it. My oh my. Plus, it was so hard to reach her. My calls will always be unanswered. Tido ka sista? You sat there for 8 hrs everyday just to answer the phone or make calls. Too much heh?

I am still angry with her. Anyhow, she really made me think that the typical government services especially those involving counter services will always be rude, damn slow and not efficient. Don’t u think so people? Maybe I was just stereotyping. Hoping for a better conversation after this. Later!

second entry for the day

I am now writing this second entry for today out of boredom this afternoon. Hubby is still occupied with lots of work and it sure gives plenty of time for me to blog. Listening to SN (the filthy rich female local singer you know who) makes me wonder about this statement I read in someone’s blog. She was complaining on her misfortunate luck in her career by justifying how could someone who failed her SPM (SN that is) can be where she is now. I believe that is what we called rezeki. She complained that studying hard for many years didn’t actually promised her anything. That education for most people means nothing more than just something written on a piece of paper. Yes, I guess that’s the case when success is measured with wealth ~ MONEY. Well, not all us are fortunate enough to be happy with the things that we are involved now. Not so many k. And most of us did it out of responsibility. It was never really a choice but more of something that you have to do to move on with your life, am I right? So, just be thankful for what you still have now. That’s all I can say. The moment will come for you to check your route again, be patient.

Anyhow, my appetite has grown drastically these days eversince I knew I was pregnant. I constantly feel hungry at most of the times and will get cranky if my tummy is empty. Why ah? Well, I hope in few weeks things will be better. Got few things to do now, so until then. Adieu.

that lady

**This entry is written based on emotional verdict so if you feel it is beyond your tolerance I seek forgiveness.

As always, work on Wednesday is taxing with preparation of lecture notes, lecture, consultations and afternoon meeting(s). But I’m not so upset with the fact there will be more Wednesdays to come and the workload will never be decreasing. It is her attitude that’s driving me mad. I mean, come on please. Do not point your finger on me when you are the ones requested to do the tasks. How dare you. I don’t mind doing the job but the way she was directing the responsibility to me was so rude. Unspeakable. I can never forget the looks on her face when the boss asked her to do something and she immediately point her finger on me! Finger!!! Shame on you. And with pride she proposed my name. Yes, in front of everybody, in front of the professors and the senior lecturers. Dengan muka yg selamba pulak tu. We are supposed to be professionals but she was acting like it was a high school puteri Islam meeting. And then, my boss said ‘no ******, I think you are the one suitable to do this.’ But, she without failed, kept on suggesting my name. Isk, ada juga org begini ka??? X paham bahasa betul. ^*&&&)&*(^(&&) her! My hormones are reaching their flashpoint already.

It is just weird why is she acting like that when others can just simply nod and say ‘yes, there is no problem, I can do that ‘ whenever they are given the tasks. Her only reason was simple and very annoying to my ears indeed. She told me she used to be the freshie and have been doing SO MANY THINGS for the past 1 yr, and now since I’m the youngest and the latest addition to the department its now my turn to do all that. Even some of the lecturers are laughing saying that now all the tasks that not so many people are willing to do will be pass to me. Those including writing down the minutes, and other not so important stuffs. I don’t see a point where it is so wrong to rotate recording the minutes among the lecturers. Because if you keep on this tradition of passing the fussy stuff to the new lecturer only, what will happened if there is no intake of the new lecturer. So, that means the last person who becomes the lecturer will remain taking the minutes for the rest of his/her career. Sampai pencen la. I’m not complaining about the tasks in fact I don’t have any problem doing them; it is just her attitude and words making me want to puke. I simply hate her! And some more, she likes to eat and bungkus all the leftovers from the meeting with the same excuse; that she doesn’t have to cook dinner tonight. The way she was eating just now showed as if she never ate a banana cake before. Urghh, I cant stand this! Have you ever been in this situation?

Ok, before I start cursing anyone, I better stop writing. Toodles!

P/s: sorry for the harsh words, but I cant stand it. Need to get everything out of my system.

of babies

i am 4 hrs late for work today. not such an impressive statement heh. however, there are few things that brighten up my day today. first and foremost, i'm glad that the sharp pain in my tummy yesterday was not really a serious matter. anyhow, she took a long paused before she said anything, that took my breath away and my worries became worse. however, doctor said it was just an ovary cist (not sure whether the speeling is correct?), a condition where ur ovary tends to swell due to high level of hormones as a result of pregnancy. but she will have to do the screening again in april. so if the size of the ovary exceeds 4 cm, she will have to do smtg abt it. gulp!

secondly, that was the first time i ever saw our baby. so tiny, and so protected in that place. it was amazing when i got to see the heartbeat of the baby. i couldnt describe the feelings, so perhaps it is even more exciting when the baby arrives. i cant wait for that moment. i believe hubby feels the same way too. but he told me that both of us shouldnt be feeling too anxious about it and got carried away and that we must keep on praying that everything will be just fine.

and yes, i received another good news. k.azrin has just delivered a healthy baby boy 2 weeks ago. nice heh. seems like everybody is making contribution to the population of our country. ahaks!

well, i sure have tonnes of work waiting for me therefore i better start doing smtg now. till then. have a nice day!

CNY and the long break...

I went to the class today not knowing that the classroom was locked and students were nowhere to be seen. It could be that the students have decided to cancel the lecture on their own, or perhaps a few of them came to the class but went home soon as they know the door was locked. Hmm...there goes another class to be replaced. Or maybe I was just being a bit too selfish wanting to have the class today although many of them insist on cancelling the class due to the long CNY break.

The final exam questions should be submitted by next week and I'm so unprepared with the news. Urghhh...how can I make a good question paper with zero knowledge in my head. Cikgu belum abis menuntut ilmu lagi so how ahh? Why in the first place they gave new subject that no one in the department has ever teach before (in week 3 of academic calendar mind u). Thank you. Thank you. So you see, my life is filled with me running around finding materials and preparing the lecture notes for students. Basically, thats my major concern as for now.

Lately, my cravings for soto and mangoes are so extraordinary which left me thinking of the possibility for pregnancy. However, it is still too early to make assumption on this so I rather put such thought asides first. Yet, very recently, I've been throwing up in the morning and I tell u its no fun coz it has been few days in in a row (almost). Missing the period for few days already creates another huge question mark for me. Hmm..still contemplating on whether I should go to the clinic or not. Or perhaps, I was just feeling a little unwell due to the stress at workplace. Or maybe, hmmm...bak kata org sabah...kluar 'dugal' ja coz I consumed tea this morning. Hehehe...Lama sudah nda minum teh. Terus mau muntah ja pg nih....

Anyhow, I called hubby n let him know of my well being. He said we will be going to the clinic this morning. Kejap lagi...So, until then.

Flu

Prescriptions from polyclinic kf few days ago seem to have no positive effect to my flu, in fact the headache had gotten much worse day by day. Ubat apa ntah dr nih bg...So, we're planning to go to a different clinic today hoping to find a better cure for my flu.

Well, today lab was as usual, although things a bit tighten up when AP came to the lab. Both me and the students felt a bit tensed. I dont know why people sometimes make such a simple thing becomes soooo complicated. I HATE THOSE KIND OF PEOPLE!! Perhaps they find pleasure in making other people's live miserable. Sigh. Okay, enough whining!

Its only 11.20 a.m, with soar throat and terrible headache, the day seems to be longer than the usual already...Aihhh, cepat-lah kamu dtg wahai petang...

Toodles!