Monday, September 26, 2011

Tentang rojak, cendol dan pelangi

Salam semua,
Dalam hatiku bagai ada rojak.. tgk gambar nih..terliur tak dibuatnya?? Petang isnin yg kerja pelbagai nih membuatkan perut pon meronta-ronta. Tapi hari ini nak cerita tentang perasaan yang bercampur baur bak rojak...Baru tadi hantar Aiman pegi jab untuk 1.5 thn, fuuhh hampir terlupa pula..macam YB kan, sana sinun nak pegi, macam2 nak buat..belek2 buku appointment Aiman, what?? hari ni kena jarum lagi??..zasss balik ke papar sebentar. Ya, smpi ke papar dia berklinik. Saya nih masih conventional masih selesa berklinik kerajaan kalau bab2 berjarum untuk anak2 nih.. Ntahla, sbb dari lahir lagi nurse tuh yg merawat kami, so dah selesa. Lagipon senang rekod kakak2 nya pon semua ada di sana. Klinik zaman sekrg dah selesa tak mcm dulu2 lagipon nurse semua friendly so we dont mind la. Cuma kena balik papar, tuh jela. kenapa tak berklinik di KKIA kk ja?? well dah pg di menggatal, tapi masyarakatnya hukk mak aihhh....ramai2, so we opt to go back to papar selalunya sorang dua ja di sana...

Okla, so apa yg membuatkan hati saya bagai rojak?? ttg kerja? sedikit sebnyak juga. Semester baru bermula, nota pon huru hara. Tapi hati masih gembira bila disapa anak murid yg tersenyum riang melambai sambil sebut nama kita. Wah masih ingat lagi mereka ya, wpon hakikatnya saya dah brp ingat sgt nama mereka semua. Ada la a few, yg byk ckp di kelas tu biasanya blh la kita recall lg nama kan. Grant pula dah nak abis, nak apply baru lagi ka nih ya? Ari tu awal thn ni dah try frgs, tp di tolak maka harapan pon semakin menipis, senipis kulit popiah...huhu..Takla bukan keciwa sgt, tapi memikirkan nak sambung study next yr, so nak abiskan dulu lah geran yg ada sekrg. Ada pula student masters nak register bwh seliaan saya..Fuhhh! first student mahh, sgt2 teruja dibuatnya tapi harus bagaimana ya hajat hati saya nak study, takkan nak biarkan dia terkapai2 sorang2 nanti....

Tentang study, hmmm...baru nak merangkak, harapnya lepas nih wpon dgn sibuk2 tugasan hakiki di pejabat maupon rumah, progress harus lebih lancar kan.. ni pon tak tau la proposal dah kena reject nak buat yg baru pon tak terbikin2 lagi nih. Tapi feel mcm student tuh dah ada. Rasa nak ke library selalu (padahal time kerja pon buleh juga bah kan, nak juga tgu time bergelar pelajar mahasiswi.. saja ja tu ehehe) dan duduk dgn buku yang bertimbun2 dgn spek yg tebal konon nerd..amboiii amboii....hahaha, mcm tu ka dulu I masa student??? Aiihhh takla sampai macam tuh, in fact library pon saya jarang2 pegi. Tak suka bila tempat tuh terlalu ramai sgt student saya jadi sgt rimas...Suka study sorg2 dan tempat yg aman damai..Ala2 kat tasik, kat padang, tepi taman, or kat bilik sendiri...supaya senang nnt dah menguap 2-3 kali, kecebusss landing je terus...wahhh!! berangan~~~~~ laaaaaalalala

Kenapa pula student supervisor lain dtg jumpa saya ya, nnt lain pula nasihat yg saya berikan, salah tak kena cara beliau, risau juga. Sbb tu jugala hati saya mcm ada rojak...Bimbang kalau2 tak happy pula dia nnt, harap2 nya tidaklah bah kan..sama2 kita bantu pelajar kan, itu yg penting..Lepas tuh, ttg kenapa saya pula yg kena pegi retreat hujung bulan nih?? Program sayalah yg paling ramai tenaga pengajar, tup2 saya juga meh?? Ramai lagi kan yg lebih berbakat dlm obe atau eac nih...huhuhu...saya ni x tau apa2..Boring juga kdg2 asyik jd bidan terjun, last yr pon sama..klu nak out station tuh, thn lps lah agak sukar bagi saya sbb baby msh kecik lagi. Tapi sy buat juga atas tuntutan kerja. Tambah2 lagi rakyat jelata dah 3 org, fuhhh mencabar juga tu. Tapi alhamdulillah.

Dan juga bila dah staff dah ramai per program, kena la ambil subjek sekolah kan. Yg org x suka sbb ramai, sbb byk kelas dan bla bla bla..in my case, nasibla ajar yg repeaters je, takla ramai sgt, tapi tang jadual tu yg tak best. Dah 2 semester sy mengajar hari sabtu. kira ot ke tuh?? tak dpt extra income ok la takpa sy x la marah sgt, tapi saya dah curi masa utk bersama2 anak2 dan kena antar pula mereka ke nursery sbb mak dorang sibuk nak ajar anak org lain. Hmm....sungguh x best perasaan itu. Dan yg paling perit orang lain buleh pula ambil subjek yg ada bayaran extra utk weekdays dan refused utk mengajar subjek yg termaktub dlm tugas hakiki....Cemano tu?? Harap2 semester ini tak perlu lagi lah ajar hari sabtu.

Sekarang dah tau kan kenapa dlm hati ada rojak. Wpon hakikatnya rojak nih sedap tau kalau makan dgn cendol time panas2 ditiup angin sepoi2 bawah pokok, ala makan kat stall mamak. fuhhh....teringat rojak dan cendol taman melawati, sedapnya lahh!! kelasss jah, tak caya cuba tgk gbr di bawah ni...humble ja rupa dia kan..sekali pandang mcm tak hingin pon nak order TAPI jangan tak tau kalau dah makan, rasanyaa....marvelessss!!!
Cendol satu bang!!
Silalah ke kedai berhampiran sekiranya tertiba membuatkan anda teringin. Maaf ya, tidak disengajakan..:)

Tapi disebalik hati yg bercelaru dgn rojak, masih ada benda nih yg muncul. Cantik kan, menggumbirakan hati, bersemangat jadinya wpon definisi pelangi setiap individu itu berbeza beza tapi tujuannya tetap sama...berbaris2 kaler tuh cantik kan! Yang berbaris disini lah pelangi sebenar saya...hehehe..Ni lagi satu pic bersama si buah hati, hmmm....dah ada rupa2 nerd tuh kan....hahahaha
Well, sekian lah sesi ber-blog hari ini. Detail sungguh siap dgn gambar ilustrasi nih, segala yg bukan gbr2 saya adalah hak milik dan credits to en.google. :)

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

To be or not to be

My english teacher gave me this poem when I was 13 and it has never failed to inspire me each time I read it. I hold on to this for as long as I can remember all through high school, uni days and until now. Sharing it with you in hope that it will become your source of inspiration as well.

The Man Who Thinks He Can
by Walter D. Wintle


If you think you are beaten, you are;
If you think you dare not, you don't.
If you'd like to win, but think you can't
It's almost a cinch you won't.
If you think you'll lose, you've lost,
For out in the world we find
Success being with a fellow's will;
It's all in the state of mind.

If you think you're outclassed, you are:
You've got to think high to rise.
You've got to be sure of yourself before
You can ever win a prize.
Life's battles don't always go
To the stronger or faster man,
But soon or late the man who wins
Is the one who thinks he can.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Welcome back students! :)

Hello freshies, hello students. 4 mths felt like a blink of an eye. I just realized that the semester starts for real when I had my first lecture today, despite having only one student attending the course. 1 out of 8 mind you, and I have changed the venue so I guess the news will probably reached them by next week, hence frustration and anger are not the case here. Hoping for a better scenario next week, although one student has shown me his lack of interest for the class already. I dont know if repeating the subject is not a major lesson for him. You have got to be serious with your studies for excellent results, simple math. No biggies, and if you called yourself as university students no one needs to tell you that! Or sometimes, it is just reminder to myself that I am becoming less and less relevant to the students as they became mature and wiser (?) throughout the years. Maybe I am. What I know and wish to share with them is no longer important and valuable. And I am still slightly relevant maybe because I have the final say on the grades, and thats it.


The thing that I noticed about them is that they are completely the reverse of what I have observed during my varisty years or any university that I go in peninsular. It is the enthusiasm, respect and motivation that are lacking in them. Made me thinking whether it is our fault all the way from the beginning. So in the established university they have professors that can scold you right smack in front of everyone in the class, and talk to himself while walking to the canteen, or have white long beard till his chest, and carries an umbrella hoping to knock your head with it if you forgot your homework. So we dont have that here, except for a few but in the category of power deprived mode & considers teaching rhymes with kah-chings! I always believe in the power of knowledge, you are regarded as powerful, not because of your rank, but because of what you know that has the capacity to influence others. Be it the knowledge on emotional and psychological, or even on technical know how. You can be in top management but have nobody listening to you.


I have a peer that is very persuasive and have a great influence on others, and that is quite impressive and I am trying to learn few pieces here and there, because to be able to use the right resources at the right time, means you are in the front line and about to win the race. And another thing from my observation, success means you are bringing everyone with you to achieve something, not stepping onto somebody's head so that you can jump further. So, despite what others are talking about him, well honestly I have few things that I totally disagree here and there of his actions and systems, but as one my friend told me, we just take all the positive things that we can learn and thats it. After all, nobody is prefect.


Over the last 5-6 years, life has been so kind. Thank you Allah for the blessings and rezeki. Jadikan kami hamba-hambamu yang sentiasa bersyukur dan tidak alpa dengan nikmat duniawi. Honestly, all I wanted is to be a good mom, who works from 8-5 mon-fri. Nothing ambitious. Surprisingly, family wise I must say its a rollercoaster ride, but a good one, and thrilling and fun. 5 yrs and three kids, without a helper so what say you? Haha. But so far so good, great in fact. And workwise, almost similar. Lucky to have had helpful friends and peers. You know who you are :). There is a turning point for all this, it is when my skt marks sink to the bottom, so bad and I was not informed about it. So whenever you fall, u need to get up and keep going and so I did. :) And I am a happy camper when I managed to be in the last group for ptk last yr.


I met a friend yesterday during a seminar, and I have known her since induction and kept on bumping onto each other at various courses as well. And when I heard the news, oh dear, sometimes there's a blessing in disguise. To be honest, I had a really bad feelings about repeating my exam last yr. I dont know. Alhamdullilah, things over here had been quite a breeze for me, still there were few occasions that hurts though. Hoping for a better opportunities in the future. Semoga dapat sambung belajar next year. I should always betulkan niat of leaving for my studies because I wanted to and not because I needed to, as everyone else is doing it or because the management asked me to. Right? Amal yang ikhlas datang dari hati yang ikhlas, tanpa perlu di paksa. I think its about time, I dont know if I can win the game, but I must win. A lot of scarifice to be make this time around, so I must make sure that its worth it. Ya Allah, ku memohon padaMu agar dipermudahkan urusanku ini, demi keranamu Ya Allah. Amin.


Last but not least, welcome again my fellow students! :) Sama2 kita bertekad cemerlang sem ni ok :)