jalan2 cari rumah...

Seharian cari rumah di mudah, tak jumpa lagi. Mcm stalker pon ada. Every 5 mins check. Less than 2 weeks dah nak ke utm. Mgu lepas seminggu stay di jb pon tak berhasil. Yang banyak rumah nak jual sahaja. Ada sampai terfikir nak beli rumah. Hihihihi...

Less than 150k, dah dpt rumah single storey yg sgt cantik. 210k pon blh dpt double storey, corner lagi. Tempted sungguh saya. Kalau sewa pon still kena bayar tapi hakmilik org lain. Kalau beli bulan2 byr pon jadi rumah kita. Tak gitu? Hahaha..amboiii amboiii..
Okla, esok sambung pula ya. Chaiyok chaiyokk!! :)

Random thoughts

So it is confirmed. I am off to JB by middle of next month. :)

Alhamdulillah. After the long wait, now the time has come for real. Excited. Nervous too. And a little sad. I still dont know whom to bring to UTM. Certainly it is not easy to make my preferences. Of course it is difficult when the option is againsts the mommyhood nature. Mellow me thinks I will certainly miss watching them grow up. I can always go home once a mth or maybe twice (uhuks!), but I can never make up the time I lost with them even for a sec. It counts, for me it does. I miss some part of the growing up process. Hopefully not on important dates, like birthdays, etc. So I have to make it clear to myself whatever I chose to do now must have greater values than the sacrifices the kids have to make. I guess even 10 phd degrees, will not be able to compensate everything, but at least, its worth it.

I dont know if its a good sign to have dreams about registering to hostels, going to labs, and having discussions with supervisor. Every night. Oh dear, cold sweats and I was shaking. I just hope that its normal to hv those endless dreams. And praying that it would not be that bad lah when it is happening for real. :)

And workwise, okay I must admit that somedays I do things like a machine, non-stop and so efficient. *perasan, pls excuse me*. But there were also days, when I dont feel like doing any work at all. My heart and my mind are already in UTM. Hehe... Should be a good sign right? As of now, with the help of dear hubby, we are doing some preparation over there, nasib baik lah not in london, otherwise kelam kabut juga la saya kan. :) And hoping that the settling down process will be easier too. OK, need to pass some files on FYP to a colleague. Weeeee..glad I dont have to do it anymore. Hehehe...Guilty but pleased...:) CR6 done, 2 reports on advance done, FYP prep done, docs to KPT done, now I am left with FRGS report and I have to close the account, also need to finish up on detergent book. Applying for 25 days annual leave too :).

Deep down, I do hope I made the right choice at the right time. And praying for everything to be alright. I dont know if success will be on my sides, but I guess I will never find out if I dont try. Oprah said the biggest adventure a person can ever take is to live the life of their dreams. So I will do just that. :) and YOU should too.

Harapan 2012

Assalamualaikum, dan apa kabar? Penghujung tahun menjelma lagi, 2012 bakal muncul pula.

Banyak suka duka di tahun ini, apa pon syukur Alhamdulillah atas semua pemberianNya. Kadang2 tak terjangkau dengan akal kita yang pendek tentang semua anugerah mahupon ujian dariNya. Semoga apa yang berlaku baik positif atau negatif dalam tahun ini menjadikan kita insan yang sentiasa bersyukur dan lebih mencintaiNya. Semoga limpahan rezeki dan nikmat tidak mengalpakan kita, jauh sekali menyebabkan kita bongkak, bahkan menjadikan kita lebih berusaha untuk memperbaiki kelemahan diri.  

Rasanya tak perlu untuk mencatat azam baru panjang berjela setiap tahun, tapi yang pasti perlu ada motivasi dan usaha untuk mencapai impian yang diharapkan. Untuk 2012, semoga menjadi lebih matang dan dipermudahkan kembara mencari ilmu untuk diperkongsikan suatu hari nanti. Juga, kehidupan yang lebih tenang dan kesihatan yang baik untuk semua. 2012 juga bermula penghidupan PJJ kami, yang ramai rakan2 yang sedang atau telah berjaya harungi. Harapan agar kami juga begitu lah, no pain no gain kan. Moga anak2 juga akan membesar dan memahami tentang tanggungjawab yang mama mereka pikul ini. Semoga jadi contoh yang baik juga untuk mereka suatu hari nanti untuk sentiasa mencari peluang menambah ilmu didada. Juga berharap akan dapat mengeratkan ukhwah yg sedia ada, dan nanti juga dapat sahabat2 yg baru dan baik juga di bumi skudai nanti.

Dalam masa sebulan ni, banyak juga tugasan yg perlu disiapkan. Harap2 oklah. Registration is 14th Feb, aduhai romantik tak tarikhnya?? Hehehe..Maybe have to turun JB, in January too untuk buat persiapan disana sebelum bawa anak. Nak bawa siapa pon tak sure ni? Hubby suggests bw syuhada, sbb dah besar so easier for me there. But dalam hati kesian juga dgn si kecil, masih menyusu lagi dgn saya. Sedih kan, tiap2 mlm mesti nak menyusu badan dulu baru dpt la dpt lena dia. So how now?? Another 3 mths before I hit my 2 yrs breastfeeding journey. Ok, big question mark there. I hope nanti, akan buat decision yang baik lah. Setiap saat asyik fikir juga ttg ini, risau ada excited pon ada :). Ya lah, 6 thn mengajar, now mau masuk kelas dan diajar lah pula. Mesti best kan??

Oklah, almost 2 p.m. now, kena selesaikan kerja2 lain dulu. Byk betul cuti hujung thn kan?? :) next wk monday cuti lagi sempena new yr. So, happy new yr to all, semoga menjadi lebih baik dari thn ini dan all the best! :)

Wondering if the grass is greener on the sides, but hopefully I dont have to this! :)

Corat coret

Hello blog, dah lama ditinggalkan. Apa kabar? :) Saya baik baik sahaja, cuma sibuk bermuka buku maka dah terlupa pula blog ini. Hihihi...So sorry..

Dari pagi cuba menyelesaikan tugas berkaitan FYP, sudah week 14, tak sangka masih ada yang belum berdaftar. Biar berulang kali beri arahan dari minggu pertama smpilah sekrg masih tak mau buat juga. Kadang-kadang naik fed up juga kita dibuatnya. Kalau anak kita, degil2 boleh juga dirotan, ni anak orang jentik sikit pon nanti ada yang datang bw parang pula. Macam neighbour makcik saya tuh, marah pelajar dia disekolah, last2 jadi sewel suka main api katanya dibuat orang. Tak pastila parents ka atau siapa lah tak puasa hati dgn dia tu. Harap2 dah sembuhla dia. Masalah betulkan kalau kes-kes begini yang terjadi, macam cerita tentang dhia tu, hmm tak patutla juga. Kalau takpuas hati lebih baik bersemuka dan berbincang.  

Anyway, byk pula tugasan yg perlu diselesaikan lately. Otak dah tepu jam 4 ptg nih, mengurus tentang FYP yang tak berkesudahan. Some ppl think it is easy organizing it, tapi dgn perangai yg pelbagai dari pelbagai lapisan manusia jenuh juga. Dan tak lupa juga special request dari sana sini yang perlu di layan. Sehingga kerja menampal2 announcement, sedia borang penilaian di bilik viva (tu pon siap komplen lain kali siap2 tulis nama student ya tak susah saya nak tulis), siapkan bilik viva. Dan macam2 lagila. Belum lagi kes mengejar markah dan gred utk masukkan dlm smp.Tapi dah 5 thn, so dah season saya rasa. Baru ni mintak nak sharing dgn colleague bos tak berapa nak bagi, lagila nak resign. So I am still stuck here. But sooner or later, I think somebody has got to take over once it is confirmed that my study leave is approved. The faster I pass this thing to somebody else, the easier it will become for her or him.  

Berckp ttg study leave, oh yeah blm ada apa2 news lagi sbb KPT pon belum bermesyuarat, dari nov drag ke disember, ni nak abis bulan dah pon x meeting lagi. So saya rasa la maybe in january la kali coz dah nak start cuti2 malaysia dah hujung tahun nih. Hopefully takde la apa2 masalah sgt application tu, coz hampir setiap malam dah mimpi sambung study. My teacher used to tell me kalau nak tau yg kita betul2 bagus dlm satu2 bahasa tuh kita akan bermimpi dan bercakap dalam bahasa tu. Aik macam takda kaitan, hehe tapi probably I just wanted this so much, so thats why sampai bermimpi2. Mana taknya asyik tu ja difikirkan kalau disiang hari, kerja pon ala2 ja sekarang asal cukup requirement. Hehe. Tula conference pon satu ja, publish paper pon satu ja. Bak kata orang, memenuhi minimun requirement lah utk skt. CPD pon sama lah juga, dah pergi beberapa course cukupla kot. Kelas pon yg ptg abis silibus dan penilaian. Oraitlah. Jangan tak diluluskan dah la patah nanti semangat akak. Hehehe..

Okla, maybe I should do a bit of work now. Maybe update SKT, and think about whether mau join the new scheme. SBPA? Semua la nak kan naik gaji, but to work until 60 yrs old and tangga gaji yang masih blur menyebabkan saya masih ragu-ragu. Tak gitu?

Just 2 weeks ago this boy suffered HFMD. Kesian tangan kaki semua blisters, including mouth. Sakit mulut, tak lalu la makan dan mengurus sedikit. Kesian betul tgk dia, nasib baik la its a mild ones, so tak berapa teruk seperti yang selalu kita dengar dalam tv or suratkabar. Ada yang kes bahaya juga kan sehingga maut. Alhamdulillah, Aiman recovered within a week. Syukur sangat-sangat. Tak boleh hantar seminggu ke nursery and DH pula out stationed for 1 wk. Kena la bawa ke ofis seminggu coz mama dia byk kerja dan cuti pon dah abis. Rough week, but alhamdulillah I managed to get through somehow. :)

See, the wide smile? Hmm.. I am happy too whenever he smiles. I accidently fed him peanut butter sandwiches this morning, when I knew all along he is allergic to peanuts. Huh, macam mana lah buleh lupa. I must have a million things in my head sampai terlupa, apalagi berbiji2 la dan merah sekeling mata budak montel ni. Nasib baik tak nangis. :) Mama so sorry okay. Hope you are much better petang nih.. Hugsss!!! Muax..

Lamban

Hi all, hari ini nak share resepi ibu saya membuat lamban. Lamban nih salah satu resepi tradisi masyarakat sabah, di sesetengah tempat di panggil kelupis dan ada beberapa teknik mau bungkus dia nih. Tapi biasanya di kampung saya di papar gini la rupanya.

Ibu saya berasal dari kelantan jadi selalunya hari raya mesti ada ketupat palas dan tapai pulut. Dua makanan wajib yang kena ada la kiranya. Tapi memandangkan buat ketupat palas ni rumit sedikit maka, kami pon dah bertukar membuat lamban. Beza lamban dan ketupat palas nih, lamban lebih lembik dan ketupat palas tuh padat sedikit sebab di tekan2 bila mau buat (itu lah part yg rumitnya). Sampai lebam2 ibu jari tau. Nak salam raya pon dah cramp ibu jari tak rasa apa. Betullll!!!.. Tapi kan dua dua pon sedap, enak dimakan bersama rendang maupon kari, serunding pon ok juga. Sesetengah orang suka makan dengan kuah kacang juga. Bak kata orang sabah, nyaman banar ani..

So cara2 nak buatnya:

1. 2 kilo beras direndam sekejap, dan dicuci bersih. Sukatan untuk santan, 1 kilo beras biasanya guna 2 biji kelapa. Air santan pula sama banyak lah dgn sukatan beras; 1 besen kecil beras untuk 1 besen santan. Guna bekas yg sama senang nak sukat. Masukkan santan dalam kuali. 2 biji kelapa akan gunakan 1 sudu besar garam, so kalau guna 4 biji kelapa untuk 2 kilo beras, garam kena lah letak 2 sudu ya. Kacau santan hingga mendidih, naik minyak dan sedikit hitam.
2. Masukkan beras yg ditos, kacau seperti dalam gambar 2. 
3. Inilah rupa beras yang separuh masak, siap untuk dibungkus dalam daun lamban. Daun lamban nih ada nama dia, tapi saya dah lupa pulak laa...daun larik ka tu??
4. Bungkus lamban dengan meletakkan 2 sudu besar pulut, atau letak lebih bergantung kepada saiz yg nak buat la. Ada orang suka yg comel2 ja saiznya, tapi kalau nak siap cepat bungkusla besar2 ala sepenumbuk (ish betul tau tak tipu, ada yg bungkus besar ni tapi nanti nak hidang kena la potong2 takut pengsan pula yg nak makan tu nanti kan). Lepas letak pulut, padatkan isinya dgn mengepit daun dan gulung2 dan kemudian lipat sisinya. Ikat dgn tali supaya lebih kemas.
5. Bila dah siap bungkus, nih la rupa dia. Kalau 2 kilo tuh, agak2 dalam 80-90 biji boleh dpt bergantung kepada saiz.Tapi opppsss jangan makan dulu, belum boleh makan lagi ni! Kena kukus dulu atau sapa yang suka rebus (lebih lembut pulut tu nanti), boleh la rebus sampai betul2 masak. Tempoh kukus, selalunya 45 mins dah ok, tapi kalau masih x berapa padat, maknanya tak berapa masak lagi. Maka kena kukus lebih lama. Tapi kalau nak derhaka, 45 min pon dah ok kali. Hehe 
6. 

Bah apa tunggu lagi, selamat mencuba ya! :)

Reality b.i.t.e.s!

Hye blog,


I am stucked at question 2. Boss sent an email reminding us the dateline, but it didnt really registered into my head. Never had I realized how difficult it is to complete a task when my mind is somewhere else. Reality bites. Focus is the keyword, but when the brain starts betraying you, nothing works. For real. Somedays I am super charged with ambitious me, somedays it is just plain me staring at the keyboard thinking hard what was the word I was supposed to type in. Lost without boundaries is pretty bad. Good pancake can actually brighten up your day, like it did to mine. Cant u see how fluffy & deliciously sweet it is with mapple syrup & and creamy butter on top? intense yum... 

Anyhoo, silly me. To think that blogging could save me. Heck maybe it will. It rained this morning, the smell of grass and sands after the rain reminded me of childhood memories. Pick a leaf & spot that crystal clear raindrops, soothing. I had a sudden flashback of pleasant, fresh cold morning breeze in kampung with the sounds of river flowing at the back of my house. My math teacher used to tease me in class of whether we had roads in sabah and that river is the only means to the nearest kampung. Maybe its true though, bet if I have a good boat now, I can travel to work from my kampung and landed exactly at ODEC and saves myself from the crazy traffics. Ha-ha! Yeah. But to say sabahan lives on tree, is to ridicule us. We could play monkeys sometimes, but that was intended, truth is, some sabahans had already live a better life 20 yrs ago. Beat that!

Despite the rain, it was such a lovely morning. Quiet with the kids still sleeping. A homey sight to see the kids curled in bed,  a little cold. I tried covering them with the blanket but it was useless as they will just kick it out of the bed, on auto mode. They formed the letter H while sleeping, oh well only god knows how many letters they  created last night. But it was such a sweet picture that I have slight guilt about waking them up for school. I think I am sooooo going to miss this, the kicks, the cries, the cuddling, the wee wee smells on bed, the nursing, the bedtime stories, the kindie stories, the kiss, & the whispers I love u too. Over dramatic as it may sound, I just need to make myself clear that this is happening for real, real soon. So I gotta embrace myself, get the kids well informed about it.

always makes me wanna sleep in between..:)

Last night after waiting for nearly 2 weeks, he finally answered my email. The excitement & anticipation overwhelmed me, I never realized how important it is to have a really good mentor-mentee relationship (silly kan?) until yesterday. The feelings is explosive. I guess this is how my FYP students might have felt each time I responded to them, to which I hope I have been a good supervisor to each of them all this while. Maybe this is why I cant keep my mind on work, the excitement  & worries, they came in bulk. I cant separate them. I cant wait to play the game, but I am worried too, of everything. Maybe this is normal, we wanna be good at something, but we end up being worst at other things. At the end of the day, all we can do is pray for the best, for everyone. 

Random thoughts

I am beginning to put less attention to teaching and deeply in love with research based work. So its true, they cant co-exist. You can either be good at one and sucks at the other. Time, situation, and priority shall determine which one you should be good at.

Hey I'm tweeting too these days, hahaha. Like a lost child I have begun clicking the buttons here and there. Seriously those buttons should come with instructions, easier for an IT virgin like me. I have graduated facebook (aiseh!), so what else did I miss?? I think I miss the boys la..dh outstation la..hehe

Entry pon dah merapu-rapu, maybe too stress doing this survey thingy since last week. Think I should go home early, or I need a retail therapy kali...huhu...Till then.

Monday Wonday

A birdie told me that study leave is an excuse to run away from work. How is that so, when you are assigned to more task long before you come back from a leave which is not even a leave. Okay, I need a new handbag~

TGIF

Call kawan2 sebentar tadi, for breakfast & none of them is picking up. Maybe it was too early or too late for me to call. Somedays workplace is such a lonely place.

On a brighther note, Prof F texted me last night at 9ish, finally after waiting for a week or so. I thought he was rather upset with me for various reasons. You know how crazy things are when your mind cheated on you. I just have this huge mental block going on, so I cant keep myself focus and think clearly. Hope this thing will go away, I need a sane me!

Last week was Syuhada's b'day bash at kindie. She's 5 now, can u believe it? Oh my, she's growing up so fast, or perhaps it was just me hoping that I could slow down the aging process and wrinkles by ignoring the time. Te-hee. Too bad, it isnt happening & I should learn that I am getting old. Hopefully getting wiser too. I really need to improve myself. Work has become a routine now that I need to upgrade it to a new challenge so it will be more interesting to do. Forcing myself to study math (or any other subject) in order to prepare the lecture materials is not working anymore. Its pure torture. Beyond me.

Its Friday, and parents are coming back from kelantan tmrw. Heard that abah is stuffing himself with durian day and night, fuhhhhh... :) I just dont get it, why does it have to be pricy over here when you have it in abundance in semenanjung. Instead of exporting it to china, wish they could send more to us in sabah or sarawak kan.   

A recent pic of the kids. You see, they all have grown up, each with different characteristics. Aiman can run now, and talks a bit of yada yada...the only thing that is clear to me now is mama & mamam. I think he knew he needs to master those two. He has new hobby, & its climbing up the chairs, tv cabinet, bed, safety gate, and table. Still no sign for new tooth though, but 8 is painful enough when he bites me or the sisters. Pulling hair (especially syafiqa's) is mandatory. Hehe.. He definitely loves his food, & milk. I seemed to notice that he eats almost everything, including bugs so I really need to keep an eye on him. At this age, its an overwhelming learning process for him, and me as well. Fiqa on the hand, its becoming a pretty princess and really knows how to give commands. Her fav sentence would be, I love u mama. :) cair tak? Pandai pujuk mama dia. Trying to potty train her with the new mickey mouse panty, and still a major accident at every corner of the house. But no worries, I am pretty good at catching things now with my magic and wonderwoman hands. And syuhada, asides from the real book, she definitely loves her papa's tab. Read: It belongs to her now. Barbie is her fav character so most of the times its a struggle to make her ready for outings. She needs to be as pretty as barbie. Their father gave the girls a hello kitty bag recently, and they are crazy about it and it has become a mojor inspiration to go the school. :) How simple life can be for kids. Hubby, can u get mommy a mac so she can be inspired to go the work too?? Puh-lease yeah honey? haha~~

Ok, hubby just called in for breakfast.. Tatataaa

Chaiyok chaiyokk...

Chaiyok, chaiyok...kata seorang teman baik. :)
Terima kasih FYY. Terima kasih juga Dr AZY, you are an inspiration.

Susah juga buat proposal baru nih, the more I read, the less I know.

Scary for real. But harus diteruskan perjuangan ini. :) Gambateh!

Mungkin kopi dan roti bakar boleh membantu, apa di tengahari ini mengidam mau makan ini? Tak kisahla janji happy dan kerja siap kan.

Oh ya, Syuhada's 5th bday is coming up, this Wed to be exact. Planning a school party, cake is done, card sent, goodies bag packed. Just tiny things to be confirmed still. Hope everything went well. See, I love my monday!!!

So thats why its called the Land Beneath the Wind

Pictorial updates, on work and leisure at Dream World Resort from 30th Nov to 2nd Nov, 2011. Nice place, windy and cold. Magnificent view I must say. Unfortunately Aiman was still feverish during our stay there, I felt guilty for bringing him along, but I am torn between work too. I couldnt leave him at home thinking that he needed me the most at that time. Hopefully I dont have to make that sort of option anymore. Overall, it was a nice place to have a retreat or family getaway. Cant blog much, I have to study math. :)

Tentang rojak, cendol dan pelangi

Salam semua,

Dalam hatiku bagai ada rojak.. tgk gambar nih..terliur tak dibuatnya?? Petang isnin yg kerja pelbagai nih membuatkan perut pon meronta-ronta. Tapi hari ini nak cerita tentang perasaan yang bercampur baur bak rojak...Baru tadi hantar Aiman pegi jab untuk 1.5 thn, fuuhh hampir terlupa pula..macam YB kan, sana sinun nak pegi, macam2 nak buat..belek2 buku appointment Aiman, what?? hari ni kena jarum lagi??..zasss balik ke papar sebentar. Ya, smpi ke papar dia berklinik. Saya nih masih conventional masih selesa berklinik kerajaan kalau bab2 berjarum untuk anak2 nih.. Ntahla, sbb dari lahir lagi nurse tuh yg merawat kami, so dah selesa. Lagipon senang rekod kakak2 nya pon semua ada di sana. Klinik zaman sekrg dah selesa tak mcm dulu2 lagipon nurse semua friendly so we dont mind la. Cuma kena balik papar, tuh jela. kenapa tak berklinik di KKIA kk ja?? well dah pg di menggatal, tapi masyarakatnya hukk mak aihhh....ramai2, so we opt to go back to papar selalunya sorang dua ja di sana...

Okla, so apa yg membuatkan hati saya bagai rojak?? ttg kerja? sedikit sebnyak juga. Semester baru bermula, nota pon huru hara. Tapi hati masih gembira bila disapa anak murid yg tersenyum riang melambai sambil sebut nama kita. Wah masih ingat lagi mereka ya, wpon hakikatnya saya dah brp ingat sgt nama mereka semua. Ada la a few, yg byk ckp di kelas tu biasanya blh la kita recall lg nama kan. Grant pula dah nak abis, nak apply baru lagi ka nih ya? Ari tu awal thn ni dah try frgs, tp di tolak maka harapan pon semakin menipis, senipis kulit popiah...huhu..Takla bukan keciwa sgt, tapi memikirkan nak sambung study next yr, so nak abiskan dulu lah geran yg ada sekrg. Ada pula student masters nak register bwh seliaan saya..Fuhhh! first student mahh, sgt2 teruja dibuatnya tapi harus bagaimana ya hajat hati saya nak study, takkan nak biarkan dia terkapai2 sorang2 nanti....

Tentang study, hmmm...baru nak merangkak, harapnya lepas nih wpon dgn sibuk2 tugasan hakiki di pejabat maupon rumah, progress harus lebih lancar kan.. ni pon tak tau la proposal dah kena reject nak buat yg baru pon tak terbikin2 lagi nih. Tapi feel mcm student tuh dah ada. Rasa nak ke library selalu (padahal time kerja pon buleh juga bah kan, nak juga tgu time bergelar pelajar mahasiswi.. saja ja tu ehehe) dan duduk dgn buku yang bertimbun2 dgn spek yg tebal konon nerd..amboiii amboii....hahaha, mcm tu ka dulu I masa student??? Aiihhh takla sampai macam tuh, in fact library pon saya jarang2 pegi. Tak suka bila tempat tuh terlalu ramai sgt student saya jadi sgt rimas...Suka study sorg2 dan tempat yg aman damai..Ala2 kat tasik, kat padang, tepi taman, or kat bilik sendiri...supaya senang nnt dah menguap 2-3 kali, kecebusss landing je terus...wahhh!! berangan~~~~~ laaaaaalalala

Kenapa pula student supervisor lain dtg jumpa saya ya, nnt lain pula nasihat yg saya berikan, salah tak kena cara beliau, risau juga. Sbb tu jugala hati saya mcm ada rojak...Bimbang kalau2 tak happy pula dia nnt, harap2 nya tidaklah bah kan..sama2 kita bantu pelajar kan, itu yg penting..Lepas tuh, ttg kenapa saya pula yg kena pegi retreat hujung bulan nih?? Program sayalah yg paling ramai tenaga pengajar, tup2 saya juga meh?? Ramai lagi kan yg lebih berbakat dlm obe atau eac nih...huhuhu...saya ni x tau apa2..Boring juga kdg2 asyik jd bidan terjun, last yr pon sama..klu nak out station tuh, thn lps lah agak sukar bagi saya sbb baby msh kecik lagi. Tapi sy buat juga atas tuntutan kerja. Tambah2 lagi rakyat jelata dah 3 org, fuhhh mencabar juga tu. Tapi alhamdulillah.

Dan juga bila dah staff dah ramai per program, kena la ambil subjek sekolah kan. Yg org x suka sbb ramai, sbb byk kelas dan bla bla bla..in my case, nasibla ajar yg repeaters je, takla ramai sgt, tapi tang jadual tu yg tak best. Dah 2 semester sy mengajar hari sabtu. kira ot ke tuh?? tak dpt extra income ok la takpa sy x la marah sgt, tapi saya dah curi masa utk bersama2 anak2 dan kena antar pula mereka ke nursery sbb mak dorang sibuk nak ajar anak org lain. Hmm....sungguh x best perasaan itu. Dan yg paling perit orang lain buleh pula ambil subjek yg ada bayaran extra utk weekdays dan refused utk mengajar subjek yg termaktub dlm tugas hakiki....Cemano tu?? Harap2 semester ini tak perlu lagi lah ajar hari sabtu.

Sekarang dah tau kan kenapa dlm hati ada rojak. Wpon hakikatnya rojak nih sedap tau kalau makan dgn cendol time panas2 ditiup angin sepoi2 bawah pokok, ala makan kat stall mamak. fuhhh....teringat rojak dan cendol taman melawati, sedapnya lahh!! kelasss jah, tak caya cuba tgk gbr di bawah ni...humble ja rupa dia kan..sekali pandang mcm tak hingin pon nak order TAPI jangan tak tau kalau dah makan, rasanyaa....marvelessss!!!

Cendol satu bang!!

Silalah ke kedai berhampiran sekiranya tertiba membuatkan anda teringin. Maaf ya, tidak disengajakan..:)

Tapi disebalik hati yg bercelaru dgn rojak, masih ada benda nih yg muncul. Cantik kan, menggumbirakan hati, bersemangat jadinya wpon definisi pelangi setiap individu itu berbeza beza tapi tujuannya tetap sama...berbaris2 kaler tuh cantik kan! Yang berbaris disini lah pelangi sebenar saya...hehehe..Ni lagi satu pic bersama si buah hati, hmmm....dah ada rupa2 nerd tuh kan....hahahaha

Well, sekian lah sesi ber-blog hari ini. Detail sungguh siap dgn gambar ilustrasi nih, segala yg bukan gbr2 saya adalah hak milik dan credits to en.google. :)

To be or not to be

My english teacher gave me this poem when I was 13 and it has never failed to inspire me each time I read it. I hold on to this for as long as I can remember all through high school, uni days and until now. Sharing it with you in hope that it will become your source of inspiration as well.

The Man Who Thinks He Can
by Walter D. Wintle

If you think you are beaten, you are;
If you think you dare not, you don't.
If you'd like to win, but think you can't
It's almost a cinch you won't.
If you think you'll lose, you've lost,
For out in the world we find
Success being with a fellow's will;
It's all in the state of mind.

If you think you're outclassed, you are:
You've got to think high to rise.
You've got to be sure of yourself before
You can ever win a prize.
Life's battles don't always go
To the stronger or faster man,
But soon or late the man who wins
Is the one who thinks he can.

Welcome back students! :)

Hello freshies, hello students. 4 mths felt like a blink of an eye. I just realized that the semester starts for real when I had my first lecture today, despite having only one student attending the course. 1 out of 8 mind you, and I have changed the venue so I guess the news will probably reached them by next week, hence frustration and anger are not the case here. Hoping for a better scenario next week, although one student has shown me his lack of interest for the class already. I dont know if repeating the subject is not a major lesson for him. You have got to be serious with your studies for excellent results, simple math. No biggies, and if you called yourself as university students no one needs to tell you that! Or sometimes, it is just reminder to myself that I am becoming less and less relevant to the students as they became mature and wiser (?) throughout the years. Maybe I am. What I know and wish to share with them is no longer important and valuable. And I am still slightly relevant maybe because I have the final say on the grades, and thats it.

The thing that I noticed about them is that they are completely the reverse of what I have observed during my varisty years or any university that I go in peninsular. It is the enthusiasm, respect and motivation that are lacking in them. Made me thinking whether it is our fault all the way from the beginning. So in the established university they have professors that can scold you right smack in front of everyone in the class, and talk to himself while walking to the canteen, or have white long beard till his chest, and carries an umbrella hoping to knock your head with it if you forgot your homework. So we dont have that here, except for a few but in the category of power deprived mode & considers teaching rhymes with kah-chings! I always believe in the power of knowledge, you are regarded as powerful, not because of your rank, but because of what you know that has the capacity to influence others. Be it the knowledge on emotional and psychological, or even on technical know how. You can be in top management but have nobody listening to you.

I have a peer that is very persuasive and have a great influence on others, and that is quite impressive and I am trying to learn few pieces here and there, because to be able to use the right resources at the right time, means you are in the front line and about to win the race. And another thing from my observation, success means you are bringing everyone with you to achieve something, not stepping onto somebody's head so that you can jump further. So, despite what others are talking about him, well honestly I have few things that I totally disagree here and there of his actions and systems, but as one my friend told me, we just take all the positive things that we can learn and thats it. After all, nobody is prefect.

Over the last 5-6 years, life has been so kind. Thank you Allah for the blessings and rezeki. Jadikan kami hamba-hambamu yang sentiasa bersyukur dan tidak alpa dengan nikmat duniawi. Honestly, all I wanted is to be a good mom, who works from 8-5 mon-fri. Nothing ambitious. Surprisingly, family wise I must say its a rollercoaster ride, but a good one, and thrilling and fun. 5 yrs and three kids, without a helper so what say you? Haha. But so far so good, great in fact. And workwise, almost similar. Lucky to have had helpful friends and peers. You know who you are :). There is a turning point for all this, it is when my skt marks sink to the bottom, so bad and I was not informed about it. So whenever you fall, u need to get up and keep going and so I did. :) And I am a happy camper when I managed to be in the last group for ptk last yr.

I met a friend yesterday during a seminar, and I have known her since induction and kept on bumping onto each other at various courses as well. And when I heard the news, oh dear, sometimes there's a blessing in disguise. To be honest, I had a really bad feelings about repeating my exam last yr. I dont know. Alhamdullilah, things over here had been quite a breeze for me, still there were few occasions that hurts though. Hoping for a better opportunities in the future. Semoga dapat sambung belajar next year. I should always betulkan niat of leaving for my studies because I wanted to and not because I needed to, as everyone else is doing it or because the management asked me to. Right? Amal yang ikhlas datang dari hati yang ikhlas, tanpa perlu di paksa. I think its about time, I dont know if I can win the game, but I must win. A lot of scarifice to be make this time around, so I must make sure that its worth it. Ya Allah, ku memohon padaMu agar dipermudahkan urusanku ini, demi keranamu Ya Allah. Amin.

Last but not least, welcome again my fellow students! :) Sama2 kita bertekad cemerlang sem ni ok :)

5s

Planning 5s yg dah tertangguh since June lagi. Bila la nak buat nih, student tak lama lagi nak balik...harus buat dgn segera, so nih kira gambar sebelum ya. Nanti saya update gambar selepas pula...baru ada motivasi sikit nih...huhu

Ramadhan datang lagi

semoga semua amalan di terima dan diberkati Allah SWT.. ikhlas Syukry & family

Spell r.e.s.p.e.c.t correctly!

Sit for 2 mins & ponder how much you love your work. If it takes u 2 secs to say that you do, then rest assured that you are on the right track.

But once in a blue moon when a horrible management issues happened, you'll be sitting for 2 hours thinking and thinking endlessly whether it is worth staying. Like today, it took less than 7 mth for my super junior to get her pencen status. It has been almost 5 yrs since my permanent status & I should hv gotten it way back in 2009. Despite countless times asking for updates and there were also some intense moments with the previous staffs, I still lost my case. I know that it doesnt have a strong implication, but it is an indication that people takes you lightly. Now that is not good right.

It has been almost 8 mths now since my request to purchase such a small item for the lab, to be used by FYP students and the programmes. It is just so silly that the kids are testing their sample using a pH paper! Yup s-i-l-l-y! They need just a simple electronic pH meter. This also, needs constant follow up as they will start processing the forms only after you asked them about it. One stage at a time. That was freaking weird and silly and this grew a monster in me. Remember Incredible Hulk ~ u dont like me when I am angry~ Or in my case, think Ogre in Shrek. A little less intimidating but still gross none the less. My application was frozen by their superior without justification to the staff, and surprisingly to me. In fact no information about it all, let alone sharing the reasons behind it. Frustrating! It took less than 2 mths for others to just buy whatever things they needed for the programme. Some days, I just couldnt care less anymore, I just hope the EAC panels will tell them right smack on their face that, even high school these days have better lab facilities.

Sometimes I wonder why does it have to be that way. Do they need some motivation (money or fame) to just help others getting their rights. Respect is so expensive, that you have to earn it. Somehow now it is a luxury only to those with status and power and until you become successful enough you can swallow others easily, you will be forever be left unnoticed and useless. Despite all these crazy dramas and all, I just thought over the last 5 yrs, I have served and fulfill my responsibilities to the best of my ability. So I just keep on doing it, as at this stage, it is the only thing meaningful and is making me happy.

Maybe some days things will change and get better, when people are no longer power deprived and money driven. Some day... Until then, I just have to pack my bags & starts thinking about the place that I'll be spending for the next 3 years.

When I look at you

Hi all,

Sorry for keeping myself away from this space. Far too long I guess. Life is as good as always, thank you Allah for your blessings. :)

So whats cooking? Oh well plenty, plenty of things I must say. I didnt realized that July is almost over, which means more than half of year had passed. So if our working, you should have this half yr appraisal checklist whether you have completed any of your target this year. So, here I am, doing a self check achievement work and personal milestones now. Sort of. :)

Aiman has started walking just a couple of mths ago (how can I not blog about it?) and Fiqa, oh well still the comots and cute her. And syuhada is becoming a beauty queen, and full of drama sometimes. They just grew so fast. I can never have enough of them. Kids are just a true reflection of ourselves. Honest. And your spouse too. So, I guess when things started to stir at home, its pretty normal I guess, a natural way of reinventing yourself. Hopes, happiness, understanding, respect, and trust. Hold on to that, and you are in love everyday.

Just us wishing Selamat Menunaikan Ibadah Puasa, Semoga amalan kita diberkati dan dirahmati Allah sentiasa hendaknya. Aminnn :)



Sharing this nice song with all of you. Enjoy! :)

happy mother's day

Hye blog! It must have been months since I last write in here. I took advantage on facebooking. It seems too convenient and fast to pour in your thoughts there. But still, nothing beats like writing a real paragraphs. I miss it! A lot..

Many things have happened over the last few months, good things and bad things too. And I don’t know where to begin really. The passing of a good colleague/friend really surprised me and everyone. Few colleagues are expecting babies this year. Work wise, not much to tell. I am stucked with FYP for the last two weeks and it has been rather too overwhelming for me. I hate it, a lot. And I have also learned to dislike things and expressed it this time during the meetings, which is good. Maybe. :) So enough of work, too boring and to routine to tell in here.

The kids are growing up so fast. The boy is already 1 yr 2 mths. His first word is mama, wow!! I am so over the moon I bragged over and over again with DH! Finally after two ‘papa’ in a row, I get to hear mama first this time around. What better ways to celebrate mother’s day than to hear your baby calls you mama. :) Actually his vocabs are brilliant now, as in german talks, but it sounded something like nenen, anda yadayaya, papapapa…oh well they are good enough for someone who is barely 14 mos. And guess what, more baby steps. Getting confident day by day and he is clapping his hands and screams in joy with each new step. He knows how to reward himself heh. And, he still has that smiles that can melt you in 2 secs. Such a happy boy. See for yourself, there…you cant stop smiling too can you?

And Syafiqah, the cute sister and the happiest among the crowd. The clown too. Haha. I don’t know, she must have inherited her dad’s good sense of humor, which is partly good and partly annoying. Haha, but I still love her so much. Her vocabulary is amazing. She will correct you in no time if she spots you are using the wrong sentence or words. And, she is always right. Wonder where she gets that? Hehe. She has good appetite too; you definitely have to watch it when she eats. Very active that she usually sleeps at midnight, unless you bring her to bed early. Actually the musketeers have trouble sleeping at night. I wonder where they got the energy to stay awake after a long day at school. The cute button nose, sexy pout, and rosy cheeks really compliment her. She bites aiman and syuhada intermittently but no preferences though, sometimes aiman and syuhada will bite her in return. So fair enough. If you have 3 kids that is almost the same age, this thing happen a lot and its practically normal! After some time, I am so used to kids crying after 5 mins we reached home from school. And hear them laughing few secs after that. Parenting 101- lesson no 1!

Finally, the big sister. Syuhada. I just realized that she will be 5 this year. Time really flies so fast. There is always this something extra special with the first child. The first experience, the first smile, the first cry, the very first baby poops, and most importantly being parents for the first time. Everything is first with her. And today, she has grown into almost a lady like character but still a kiddy version of Cinderella. Very helpful too, in the kitchen and at the home front, you name it. Sweeping the floor, washing dishes, baking, and laundry, the list just goes on. Though I still have to monitor her and she folded her clothes terbalik, but hey I think there is a start for something. And as parents we should encourage our children to be independent. And, she always amazed me with her empathy and sensitivity towards her surroundings, especially for those unfortunate. Her elephant memory is awesome too, so please ensure you keep your promises to her. I have one thing I don’t feel like having more in her for example her likings towards boy’s stuff like warrior’s cartoons, guns, ultraman, transformers and etc. And this is tough! She must understand that she will scare my potential son in law if she loves hagemeru too much. And, she thinks smurf sucks. Oh dear, I grew up with smurfs and I think they are the coolest blue dwarfs ever!

Me and hubby. Us. We. Alhamdulillah. Everything is alright; we do fight but still go crazy over each though. Is there any good term to explain it? Funny how love works kan? :) Every day, I pray that we will forever be heads over heels for each other, all for Allah. Truth is, in reality you will never find someone who ultimately has all your requirements to be your life partner, but getting that someone who can commit to you sincerely is far too good already. If he can be your good friend, be loveable dad and cracks up jokes when you are upset, you must have a million excuses not to be grateful. He gave me this for mother’s day; (price tag lupa buang) hehe..oklah, it’s the thought that counts really.

Actually any mother in this world will agree that the kids are the best gift ever for mother’s day. No doubt. 5 years and 3 kiddos, it has been an exhilarating and challenging years for me. Not an easy task, no holiday, no rest, and unpaid job BUT honestly, it’s worth it. My life has changed dramatically, but I wouldn’t change it for anything. Being a mommy is too magical and beautiful. I am blessed. Happy mother’s day to my mom, MIL, sisters, and friends. You are special and you know it.